In the mountains, hills, valleys, cities and villages of Kyrgyzstan many young women suddenly and unexpectedly find themselves married. This happens in a way which needs to change. Just as many Western, African, and Asian societies need to be freed from their pornographic addictions and sexual promiscuity, Kyrgyzstan has a significant social problem in the area of marriage.
The couple in the picture were featured in an advertising campaign urging people to marry by mutual consent.
Kidnapped
About 40% of the brides in Kyrgyzstan are simply kidnapped and married by force. This is a tribal custom from many generations ago, so for many it is "traditional," but it actually breaks one of the ten commandments "You shall not steal." During the Soviet era the practice was suppressed but not altogether eliminated, however, it has grown in scale in recent decades. Happily a small majority of marriages are arranged, negotiated and mutually agreed upon. Bride kidnapping is illegal but most violators are not prosecuted. Islam is also against forced marriages.
In most cases the young girls do not consent to the kidnapping and often the "marriage" is consummated by simple rape. Some give their consent to avoid difficulties, others genuinely decide to simply accept their "destiny," their families are invited and a marriage takes place. Many girls stay with their new husband but others seek to escape, a minority of young women commit suicide or are simply murdered if they do not cooperate. Above all, the psychological trauma is very important to remember.
Typical Dating Impossible
Typically a young man may make efforts to "date" girls although typical "Western dating" is practically impossible in Kyrgyzstan.* Kyrgyz society greatly limits the amount of time that young men and women may spend together. Perhaps a family will seek to negotiate a match. Sometimes this works, and a marriage is arranged. However, many young men find themselves in difficult circumstances where they are not able to get married for various financial, family, social or personal reasons. In those cases they will often kidnap with the active participation of their friends (80-90% of the cases) and their extended families (parents, siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins). The good and bad qualities of the perspective brides are debated and plans are devised.
This Is Our Way
Young women are abducted just about anywhere or anytime, it can happen at home, in public or even while working in the fields. The kidnapped bride is often brought to her future husband’s family and his women relatives are enrolled to seek to persuade the girl to accept her destiny and joyfully receive her new husband. Many will say "I too was kidnapped, we all were kidnapped. This is our way."
Kyrgyzstan Flag
Kyrgyzstan Map
Prayer Starters
- Many Kyrgyz Muslims are involved in seeking to change this situation by various means. Ask God to bring the Kyrgyz people to a real heart change in this area.
- Pray for healing for those who have suffered.
- Ask the Lord to bring further revelation to the Kyrgyz people about the true nature and meaning of marriage (Ephesians 5:21-33).
* One could seriously question whether or not typical “Western style dating” is actually a good solution to the problem of finding a mate!
Video: Witness - Kidnapped Brides (10:18)
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I post your article on my blog yestarsay and ... we are in a bi shock what could be real in these times, in our world ...
In prayer near you from Romania.
There is a solution to the kidnapping problem that can be a compromise. In Indonesia, mainly on the island of Bali, there is a tradition of marriage by eloping. Nowadays, this tradition can be staged or arranged by the families of the bride and groom.
Likewise, this can be applied to mutually consenting couples in Kyrgyzstan by staging a mock kidnapping of the bride. This way, they can keep the tradition alive but still only apply it to couples who are mutually consenting.
As for the dating issue, instead of the 'Western' concept of dating, why not try chaperoned group dating?
Pray for Kyrgyzstan:
* pray for this wicked pratice of kiddnapping girls will be ended
* pray for the Kyrgyz Churrch to grow strong and bold in the Name of Jesus
* pray for a peaceful solution to the uncertian political situation in Kyrgyzstan
* pray for the barriers to faith in Christ will be broken
* pray that many Kyrgyz will experience dreams, visions, and revelations of Jesus
* pray for a storng Kyrgyz Church to emerge whereever Kyrgyz people live!
Thank you for that information and facts. It is very appreciated! Best regards.
Hi, I'm seeking advise, desprately please. I don't belong to any organised faith,however I have faith in my life & heart and I love God. I was Chrisitianed by the Preysbitretian church when I was a preschool child, but never in my heart felt that I belonged there. I've always felt a big pull towards the ethnic faiths. Recently I have met a Muslim Man who is almost 6 years younger then me & I have fallen so deeply in love with him, I only intended for it to be friendship,but a very natural & undeniable connection between us has my head & heart spinning all over the place. I have been married before & I have 3 children to the previous relationship. I myself believe in 1 God,angels, ascended masters, Jesus, but most of all my daily code that sits next 2 my heart is that I believe in humanity, live in humility, love, peace, non judgement (which sees people using me), & I follow my heart. I am 35 years old. Can u advise me please whether he is forbidden to see me as anything less then a friend? I need to know for my own peace. I would walk on hot coals for this man, I have never felt so strongly in love before. I would even anchor my faith in his world & be very happy & comfortable with that, as I'v been seeking a faith & lifestyle that matches my heart for a very long time. I am just a normal Kiwi lady with white skin. Please tell me what to expect, & especially how I would be looked at by his family, faith & peers. I would even give him his own family.Thank you for taking the time to read this & adviseing me,Love & Blessings to you.
Be careful. Muslim men (like other serious religious Christian and Jewish men) can be very different after you marry them. Also please know that his religion allows him up to four wives, and that divorce is easier for him than you. Sharia law also favors men in every case and every situation. Silly western women do not know what they are getting into many times.
U shld undstnd wat ahmed said&besides there is noting impossible in d sight of God,to fall in lov is nt a crime hence u should be willing to submit urself to him both interms of religion&any other aspects.