I don’t comment often, but I do like your blog….

Dr. Nasiru Mohammed Ilallah brings up a very interesting foundation for much of our decisions in life. You are not alone in your question. I believe that the answer to your question is BOTH/AND. You work like it depends on you and pray like it depends on God; for conceiving and raising a child under any type of circumstances.

I know from personal experience that you can plan the best you know and all your plans (ie. to support this child) can fall apart beyond your control, which gives you the choice to get angry with God and blame Him or believe in Him still, though you don’t understand why He is allowing you to go through the circumstances you are in. I know because I am in my 8th month of pregnancy and had exactly this choice.

In my 5th month of pregnancy (Nov.) my husband lost his job, we had to start paying triple the amount for Cobra health insurance for my prenatal care and my commission income dropped almost in half in the same month. He has gone without health insurance b-c we simply couldn’t afford it. We have been living off my reduced income and our savings and I feared we would lose our condo if he didn’t find work by March/April because I don’t get paid maternity leave in my profession. I was very angry with God and got to the point that I didn’t want to pray anymore. I was convinced His hand was against me. But b-4 and after that low point, I was also asking: what do you want me to learn from this? What is it You are wanting to do in me?

I must admit, I often do not understand why our Heavenly Father allows us to suffer and experience pain. It was His will that Jesus suffer a horrible humiliation and agony in the mocking, whipping,and dying by suffocation on a cross to fulfill the Old Testament requirement for a pure, blameless blood sacrifice that cover all sin for all time so that our fellowship, as humans with the God Who created us, could be re-established in personal relationship, like when Adam and Eve walked with God in the garden of Eden. I finally came to realize, that God has not abandoned me, but I had separated my self from Him by my unbelief. Jesus’ “plans” were to follow in the footsteps of his earthly father as a carpenter, but God had bigger plans that involved MUCH pain and suffering and Jesus followed God’s lead willingly. I realized, that I had a choice, just as Jesus did, to believe and trust that God has a greater purpose in whatever I am experiencing and that my prayers could change from “deliver me out of these circumstances” to “how do you want me to change?”

That being said, we did not get pregnant the year before, when my husband and I let birth control go for a couple of months – when he had a good job and full benefits. I believe God was preparing us to be parents. We went back on birth control and went through Imago couples counseling for about 5 months that really helped us strengthen our marriage, perhaps more important than the finances. Though we also had taken a finance class together early on in our marriage too. All are important and helpful.
So, if and when, you conceive is partly up to you, to give God the chance to create the new miracle of life, but only by really knowing God, as Jesus did, and asking the Holy Spirit to reveal God’s good, pleasing and perfect will, can you know when it is time to throw that caution Dr. Ilallah speaks of, “to the wind”.

As a Licensed Massage Therapist certified in Pre-conception/Pre-natal/Post-Partum Massage, I have worked with a number of women who have taken steps in invitro and artificial insemination to conceive as they hope God gives them their desire: a child. Why does God grant some women children and others not who desperately want them and could provide for them? Does He always provide for children everything we think they should have? Why then are some kids kidnapped, abused, maimed by landmines and orphaned by war or AIDS etc.? I have wondered about all this in my recent circumstances and it comes back to 2 basic beliefs:
1. That evil exists and has an originator: Satan who caused Eve to sin by twisting the truth. He still twists minds today and evil results, touching many, many lives.
2. Jesus defeated Satan’s power on by shedding his blood on the cross, in accordance with God’s will and we can believe this, having access to Jesus’ power to resist evil and sin, or not believe it and try to control our own lives which does not allow us to be part of God’s script for our lives.

From my own experience, my parents were very poor and yet they decided to have three children. I am the oldest. Growing up I never realized how poor we were (my sister did) because everything was always provided. We even had a dear lady in our church family make dolls for each of us at Christmas because my parents had no money to buy us gifts. Later as I grew older, we became a “foster family,” one who takes in children who are removed from their homes because of unhealthy situations (drugs, abuse, etc.). How could we afford that? We had little space, little money, but lots of love and a heart for children who were in need. I met one girl almost 20 years later who lived with us for a year. She told me, “Living with your family was the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Now, as a 34-year old mother of a 14-year old daughter and newly married (my first husband died 9 years ago) I see my friends adopting children from the US, Guatemala and Ukraine. They are not rich, they don’t know where their next jobs are coming from. But they have faith in God, and in His Holy Spirit guiding them. I believe, Nina, I know that I can hear the voice of God speaking to me. I believe that His Spirit longs for all people, for the whole world, to know Him and to experience His love personally. I believe He cares about each person born and wants to provide for them. How does He do this? Through us, His people! I have a friend who is a single mother of two children. She works hard and has had many many problems. She has little support from anyone, because she has not surrounded herself with people who love and obey God. I think it is only a matter of time before she realizes that God does love her and He does not hold her sin against her. Then she will begin to accept God’s blessings through His people and see her life turn around for good.

I will add one scripture to the others’: Romans 8:28-31
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,who have been called according to his purpose. 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

31 What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?”

God does not hold our sins against us, He does not withhold good from us. If He blesses you with a child, then He will provide. And yes, I agree that you should work along as well, because when a person believes she has a promise from God, then she will act as though she has received it. Does that make sense? If I thought I would get married again, then I should start preparing for a husband, yes? I learned to cook, I bought a wedding dress, I saved my money, and I waited on God! Three years later, I was married. And he enjoys my cooking.

God bless you, Nina.

5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

And Jesus said

22 “… do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. 23 Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. 24 Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! 25 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? 26 Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?

27″Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 28 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! 29 And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. 30 For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. 31 But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.”

I have said a prayer for you that you have wisdom as you make your decision and that you will not be anxious about the future but place your trust in the Lord of all.

Blessings, Elaine

This scripture is enough for me to know that all my needs are being granted by God and even more. Because Romans 8:32 declares
He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?

So we know we have free access and full answer to all our requests as long as we are asking in a rigth attitude. But The Word also declares “He that doesn’t work, let him not eat also”.

So we understand that God’s blessings come to us through work because he says “The worker deserves his wages”.

The idea according to my understanding is this. God wants to bless us, he wants us to be frutfull, to enjoy wealth, health, prosperity, peace, joy, love, but he doesn’t want us to be lazy !!!! And beyond this the Lord wants to use us in his Kingdom, that we may share his authority and dominion in ruling his Kingdom affairs.

For this reason God allows trials to come in our lives in order to develop our character and mentality, so as to give us the mentality of the overcomer. He has already promised us that no trial shall overcome us…

One day we will be assigned a position of authority in God’s Kingdom. God wants us to be ready for it, earth is the training ground for us.

Blessings