Everyday I wake up next to the man that I married. He is a Muslim and I am a follower of Jesus. When we decided to get married, neither of us was practicing our faiths, so it was an easy decision. In fact, our faiths looked quite similar in many ways and he had convinced me that they were indeed very similar.
Married 1 Peter 3:1-2
Even though I knew I had married a Muslim, his decision to start practicing (just one year after getting married) came as a huge surprise to me. It totally upset the balance that we had as two people, each living out our faiths in a very nominal way. Along with anger at him for changing (as we all do!!), I also felt a growing resentment towards this religion that was stealing my loving, caring husband and replacing him with someone who was so focused on rules, regulations and merciless rituals. Our romantic relationship took a serious turn for the worse.
The fact that he keeps the rules affects my life a lot. For example, if we have to be somewhere at a certain time (especially it is something for me, it seems), he’ll want to wait just a little longer before leaving so that he can get the next prayer in. During Ramadan it is especially challenging because he will basically not touch me all day – and definitely will not kiss me. This is hard for me, not because I want to kiss him all day (or maybe I do! 
), but because I see marriage as an open, living, breathing expression of love and commitment to each other. Sometimes, physical expression is needed to say what words cannot. I do think that he errs on the side of caution, especially during Ramadan, in hopes that he will make up for all the other days of the year that he is not following everything to the letter. I have to rely on God’s grace and wisdom to know how to respond to some of these things that my husband throws at me.
Lately, I’ve been grappling with how I will respond when he wants our daughter to start praying. This probably won’t happen for a while, but I fear the day that it does. I try to put things into perspective by weighing what is actually right and wrong. There is nothing wrong with washing, definitely nothing wrong with praying, or even praying at a certain time (this tradition, I believe, actually came from the Christian church a long, long time ago). The problem I will have is with our daughter having to state that Mohammed is a prophet and denying the divinity of Jesus. I keep praying that my husband will come to know Christ before this becomes an issue.
At the same time, there are many things that I can take from Islam and transfer to my own faith. Their view of God, His omnipotence, His omnipresence, and His sovereignty, is very core to how they see God. (If we could just throw in the knowledge of God’s love for us all, that would be great!!). I’ve learned to treat our Scriptures with more reverence. The goal I strive for is to find a balance between knowing God as a holy, pure and powerful God as well as knowing Him personally, as my Saviour, my friend and the One who loves me more than I could ever imagine!
Ironically, it was this sudden fervour of his that drove me back to my roots – my relationship with Jesus. Surprisingly, I am actually from a Christian family, grew up attending Sunday School , DVBS, Bible Camp, and even Bible College. I was a leader in my church and looked up to by many people, as a role model in the faith. What was the problem? In one short word … Pride. I never thought it could happen to me… I was firmly against marrying a non-believer but put in the right circumstances we are capable of anything.
Within a couple months of his awakened faith, I was invited to my friend’s church at Christmas. I went only because I thought it was the least I could do, being a nominal Christian and all. God had plans for me though. I don’t remember what the message was that day, but it made me want to return. So I did. The next Sunday, the message was about God’s all-encompassing love and His forgiveness, no matter how deep the sin. I sat in the front row with my dear friend. I wept. God had taken my heart of stone and softened it – miraculously; instantly. Words really cannot explain what happened in this short moment.
Here I am today, a follower of Jesus. There are many verses that encourage me, one that I think of almost every day is this one: “Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behaviour of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.” (1 Peter 3:1-2, NIV). I am challenged to look at my marriage, not as a mistake, but as a sign of God’s forgiveness, grace and love.
Prayer Requests for (Christian) women married to Muslim men:
- - That our love for Jesus would grow daily, through time in the Word and on our knees.
- - That we would be led by Spirit in how we live and share Christ – choosing words carefully.
- - That we would be well connected to a church body – and sought to be understood and supported.
- - Unity, wisdom and discernment in child-rearing.
- - A deep steadfastness in the knowledge of God’s love, knowing that God loves our husbands even more than we do.
- - The courage to stand in prayer for our beloved husbands. God has allowed us to become married (whether by disobedience or subsequent conversion) and will give us what we need to live as an example of Jesus in our homes, so that our beloveds would meet Jesus.
- - Pray against fear – the future is unknown and that can be very scary for a woman married to a Muslim – pray for increased faith and trust that He who holds our lives has good plans for them.
Editors Note: we have the offer of a Christian women wanting to help other women married to Muslim men. Feel free to leave comments and questions below in the comment section for now. We can always start a Marriage forum if we get enough replies.
Recommended Viewing:
Magdalena - the movie
DVD: MAGDALENA: Released From Shame (Dec 2008)
One woman caught in adultery; another, rejected and ignored because of her promiscuous lifestyle … (by the ‘Jesus Film’ producers) DVD Length: 80 minutes.
Description: Watching with amazement, Mary learned from Jesus a new way to look at people. He also radically transformed her life by healing her from demon possession–releasing her from shame. Mary Magdalene acts as both narrator and participant in “Magdalena: Released From Shame,” as she traces through the story of lives that have come into contact with this man, Jesus, and have been powerfully released from shame. Order today. A must for all women!
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I’m dating a muslim man, and I’m christian, he wants to marrie me, hes telling me that our religions are the same only a few things are different, i told him i want to keep my faight in god and still want to read my bible and he said nooooooo, suddenly he told me that he was devorce and had 3 kids, i said ok, no problem, them his wife called me, told me that his still married and shes expecting another child, when i confronted him told me that hes divorce from the muslim church but not from court, that he could marry me.. am confused, I love him but at this point i dont know if hes saying the true, if hes not devorce from court can he marrie again. I need help. to make the correct decision. he doesnt practice his faight very well we had sex…and thats not suppose to happend we wanted to know if am good in bed before marrige.
Emily Elizabeth
I have come a long way in life and want to ask you an important question: Can anybody build a relationship with someone else where there is no trust? What do you mean when you say that you love this man? This does not sound like an arranged marraige so I want to ask, does he love you? How will you know he loves you? What will the future hold where there are so many uncertainties?
Do you have Christian friends with whom you can discuss this relationship and pray about it together?
God bless, I pray for you.
Pieter
He tells me all the time he loves me, that only god knows how much he loves me, but he lied to me.he’s married and has 3 kids and especting another baby, and i know that becauce hes wife called me. i cant trust him anymore.he told me he didnt have sex for 2 years and how is she pregnant. i dont understand.and why she is so mad at him, he had to do something bad to her. and as you said What will the future hold where there are so many uncertainties?
I have christian friends a lot put this is personall matter, am praying a lot belive me.
God bless you
thank you
Emily Elizabeth, deeds speak louder than words. There are men who say nice things to a lady to make her feel special and how much he loves her just to have sex with her. True love is serving, making personal sacrifices. If he is not doing that towards his wife with whom he has children, how will he do it twards you?
Christian friends are there to stand with you in times of personal crises. There ust be two or three that you can trust with this personal matter and pray together?
The peace of Jesus that surpasses all understanding be with you.
you trust him ? If he is married and has kids, then forget him. he is lying to his wife and to you and in the future he will do more lies. if he does this no wow just wait, you could find out one day he has another lover.
“Muslim church” Are you making this up as a slur against Muslims?
I have been married for 25 years to a muslim i became a christian within the marriage..(1 cor: 7:13 is in the context of my marriage) Prior to this i had no knowledge whatsoever of either faiths. As a christian God is very clear that we should not be unequally yoked (2 cor 6:14) and acting in disobedience will only forfeit God’s blessing. My marriage was not in a mosque, after becoming a christian he asked me to marry him there but i refused. This is out of God’s will, Love can be blind and sometimes it’s not easy we do have to sometimes make sacrifices in order to continue on God’s path. I encourage you to read His word it is a lamp unto your path (ps 109:105) and grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Saviour (2 Peter 3:18),
ask Him (if you havn’t already)for forgiveness for having sex before marriage {1 John 1:9) and after approach his throne boldly and ask for His wisdom in this situation {James 1:5}. He is with you Always,
cont……………. in reply to Emily Elizabeth
Please use common sense and wisdom. I realize that after you’ve slept with a man, you lose your perspective and it’s difficult to see him straight. He’s already proved to you that he has no respect for your right to make a decision based on the truth. He has proved to you that he will be dishonest with you and disrespectful of you in very serious areas of life. He has stolen your rights already. Want him to continue this? Years of this will take a toll on you. You need to be more protective of yourself. Remember to have self respect and love yourself enough to tell this guy to move on and leave you alone. Get support from your friends while you still have some. His people will smile in your face, but you’ll know years down the road that you were only an outsider, when it comes down to it. Need me to tell you what will happen if you have children with him and you can’t agree with his religion that tells him he can do all kinds of things you can’t imagine at this point? Learn more about Islam. You’ll be more grateful for Christianity.
Caring about you … Thank you for really caring and sharing your heart. PtL for true wisdom from you.
Christians at first were true to their Creator, but shaytan took control of their church and falsely raised Jesus, peace be upon him, to a level of divinity and they worshipped him making him equal with God(Allah). This in fact breaks the first commandment of God given to Moses, peace be upon him. Only God(Allah) alone shall be worshipped and any other form of worship for any other beings equals to worship of shaytan(satan). Therefore Christians of today belong to a satanic cult because they worship shaytan instead of God(Allah). They are therefore led astray towards the gates of hell. They have denied the teachings of Jesus, peace be upon him, where he always referred to himself as the son of man which is the old English term meaning “human” and he only taught to worship and pray to God and to God alone. Never once in the bible does he say to pray to him. Therefore Jesus, peace be upon him, is a true Muslim prophet born of the Virgin Mary by God’s grace, all glory be to Him. Save yourselves and turn to Islam. Embrace the truth. Unite. Read the Quran and do not make your efforts futile by continuing to worship God’s creation, for Jesus, peace be upon him, was created by God. Jesus, peace be upon him, will never receive those who pray to him or worship him but instead will say that he never knew them. He never died on the cross but he was raised up to heaven. The only way to God is through God alone. He has no partners, no equals, no sons or daughters, He is all-supreme, all-encompassing, all-powerful, all-merciful and all-forgiving, only He can forgive you of your sins. Do not fall for satan’s traps, he has pulled the wool over your eyes. Pray to God alone and ask Him to guide you to the truth that shall set you free. Have courage and cultivate true faith.
Asalaam Aleikum and welcome to Islam. Worship only God(Allah), all glory be to Him.
Mattah,
Your theory is all wrong from the beginning. Christians don’t worship other than God. We worship one and only true God who has three ways to appear, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Christianity is monotheistic religion as Islam and Jewism. So don’t mix them in your mind that christians worship more gods or whatever.
Secondly, you say Christians do not follow the word of Jesus. We follow every word of it and this is our heritage in Church. Islam changed everything that Jesus said, take for example ‘The one with no sins let him throw the first stone’. In Islam people are tortured and killed for their sins,instead for having the time to ask for forgiveness.
Third, you said Jesus didn’t die on the cross. How do you know this? The crucifixion is a historical event and it happened publicly in front of so many witnesses. It is historically proven and Jesus said I will die and in 3 days will be risen to life again. Do you think he was a lier?
Last, be careful my friend. You believe in the quran who one person told you that Gabriel revealed it to him. You have no proof it is God’s relevation. Islam is a human-created religion, God is fair, he treats men and women the same, He is love, not fear. Open your eyes. Your religion has many mysteries which you are not able to explain,whereas in Christianity there is an answer for everything. Even the expression “Son of Man” and “Son of God” have a specific meaning which muslims are not able to understand. You need the light of God to understand the trinity and unfortunately without it, all muslims are blind.Jesus didn’t say I am God because nobody would believe him.they would think he is crazy. Whereas those who had the “light” believed to Him. Others understood what He said but didn’t like it and they killed Him. If he was a prophete then islam would have been born at the age of Jesus,not 700 years later. Doesn’t this ring a bell to you? Be careful, it’s not Christians who worship satan. We worship ONE…
…AND ONLY GOD. Instead muslims follow the rules of a pedophile sex maniac who used women only as sex objects. Open your eyes, read, search and truth will be revealed to you personally.
May God enlighten all muslims and send them His Holy Spirit.
We don’t follow a pedophile and sex maniac. Your claims are ridiculous. The Old Testament prophets had young wives. Are they pedophiles? Historians and Christian scholars agree that Joseph married the Virgin Mary, may Allah be pleased with her, when he was 90 and she was 12. Is he a pedophile? Back then, people lived shorter lives and girls reached the age of puberty/mental maturity earlier, so it was socially acceptable. Back then, young girls would be forced to marry men they didn’t like, men who abused them and demanded dowry. Islam turned things around. Muhammad, peace be upon him, did not want to marry Ayesha in the first place, one of his Companions suggested he do so fearing that he would die soon and leave no legacy. Muhammad, peace be upon him, and Abu Bakr asked Ayesha for Muhammad’s permission to marry her, contrary to the abusive practices of the time. Muhammad was not a sex-maniac/pedophile. In fact, Ayesha lived with her parents until she reached the age of puberty, after which she went to live with Muhammad, peace be upon him. Would a pedophile have waited so many years? The definition of a pedophile is one who habitually has sex with pre-pubescent children. Therefore, Muhammad, peace be upon him, is not a pedophile. Ayesha was not treated as a sex object. In fact, he taught Ayesha much about Islam, and trained her to be a scholar. She became so learned that after he died, she continued to spread Islam. She was more learned then any of the male Islamic scholars, who would often come to her for help. Would Ayesha, may Allah be pleased with her, be such a successful woman if Muhammad, peace be upon him, had viewed her as a mere sex object? Muhammad was not a sex maniac. Muslim women wear hijab (some wear niqab) so that men will pay attention to their minds/personalities, not their bodies. Would a sex maniac call for such modesty?
I would suggest you look up Muhaddith.org Islamic videos on youtube. They do one specifically about this topic.
I think Helen had said enough on this idea. but i just wanted to also mention that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the light. THROUGH him, may we have a deep relationship with our God, such as in prayer. He was sacrificed so that we all can. My muslim friends say “Why would God allow this to happen?” and I would reply “Exactly, its pretty amazing”
Emily Elizabeth,
Let me be blunt. I was Muslim for YEARS. I read & prayed all about it. The men can be charming & quiet. And then, you MARRY. They go “Jekyll and Hyde”. That means you marry a doctor and a beast. I don’t know how old you are, but you should please, please wake up! There will be many other “surprises” in your future, if you marry him.
Wow. More stereotypes.
Emily Elizabeth
I agree with Bettina, i am married to a muslim for 25 years and a christian for 15 years.
and this marriage is very difficult, it doesn’t get easier…. He did destroy my Bible 2 times, and i had to read and pray in secret . Your boyfriend has already lied to you and already telling you you can”t read your Bible, and your not married yet. Don’t be blinded this relationship already has a rocky foundation with lies and deceit and conditions. Let Go!
Those of you who are still filled with hate or fear about Muslims, consider this:
Achtiname of Muhammad:
“This is a message from Muhammad ibn Abdullah, as a covenant to those who adopt Christianity, near and far, we are with them. Verily I, the servants, the helpers, and my followers defend them, because Christians are my citizens; and by Allah! I hold out against anything that displeases them. No compulsion is to be on them. Neither are their judges to be removed from their jobs nor their monks from their monasteries. No one is to destroy a house of their religion, to damage it, or to carry anything from it to the Muslims’ houses. Should anyone take any of these, he would spoil God’s covenant and disobey His Prophet. Verily, they are my allies and have my secure charter against all that they hate. No one is to force them to travel or to oblige them to fight. The Muslims are to fight for them. IF A FEMALE CHRISTIAN IS MARRIED TO A MUSLIM, IT IS NOT TO TAKE PLACE WITHOUT HER APPROVAL. SHE IS NOT TO BE PREVENTED FROM VISITING HER CHURCH TO PRAY. Their churches are to be respected. They are neither to be prevented from repairing them nor the sacredness of their covenants. No one of the nation (Muslims) is to disobey the covenant till the Last Day (end of the world).”
—————————————————————————————
“This day [all] good foods have been made lawful, and the food of THOSE WHO WERE GIVEN THE SCRIPTURE is lawful for you and your food is lawful for them. And [lawful in marriage are] chaste women from among the believers and chaste WOMEN FROM THOSE WHO WERE GIVEN THE SCRIPTURE BEFORE YOU, when you have given them their due compensation, desiring chastity, not unlawful sexual intercourse or taking [secret] lovers. And whoever denies the faith – his work has become worthless, and he, in the Hereafter, will be among the losers.”- Qur’an 5:5
(note: this verse doesn’t say that Muslim women can’t marry…
men of other faiths, so it is permissible.)
Skhan, i want u to tell me wats in kaba? who is allah? Is it a name of a god specifically or is it a translation of God in arabic? Y do u go 4 pilgrimage in macca?
Salaam Alaykum Hauwa.
Allah in arabic is the combination of two words “Al” meaning “the” and “ilah” meaning “thing worthy of worship”. “ilah” shares the same root as the Hebrew word “elah”/”El” and the Aramaic word “Alah” (used by Jesus, peace be upon him), which also mean “thing worthy of worship”. Therefore, “Allah” means “The Only Thing Worthy of Worship”. The pilgrimmage to Makkah involves us Muslims purifying ourselves and preparing ourselves for a trek through the desert. This trek through the desert humbles us, showing us how Merciful God is by providing us so much in our normal lives. It shows us how simple we can live, despite the fact that we own so many things. We run 7 times between the hills of As Safa and Al Marwa, representing Hagar, mother of Ishmael, wife of Abraham, running in search of water for her son. As for why Hajj is so important, it symbolizes the oneness of humanity, the equality mankind has under Islam. To quote a Muslim website: “Every year more than two million Muslims, from 70 different countries, travel to Makkah and Medina with the purpose of undertaking the great obligation of Hajj. It is an exemplary example of equality and unity when the pilgrims gather together for Hajj. Muslims who belong to different nations, cultures, social and economical status are all dressed in two pieces of unsown cloth. All perform the same rites. There is no difference of rich and poor, all stand in front of their Lord in submission and humility.
Hajj provides a unique opportunity for Muslims to meet each other, understand each other, increase in love, get closer, improve and resolve relationships. It is from the blessings of Allah during Hajj that one is in continuous opportunity to gain good deeds by treating one’s Muslim brethren in the best way. And aid the poor and needy, which is also from the means of achieving great rewards from Allah.”
All of our sins are forgiven if we do the Hajj (pilgrimmage). God rewards…
(cont.) us for making this tremendous effort to worship him. What’s in the Kaaba? There are youtube videos of that. There isn’t much except for Qur’anic inscriptions on the walls. Some Muslims go inside the Kaaba to pray. There is a guard at the entrance, since there are so many people.
To Skhan: Hi, how are you? It sounds like you really love and strive hard for God, putting in a lot of effort.
“God rewards us for making this tremendous effort to worship him.”
That sums up the difference between the two of us. For us, God does the work, HE has already made the effort, HE has paid the price. All we need is to believe Him and receive salvation and eternal life “For it is by grace that you are saved, through faith… it is the gift of faith, not by works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)
You see, it’s important for GOD to get the glory. So He has done it all… We simply need to be humble enough to accept. In the Bible, we are told how all our righteous acts are as filthy rags before Almighty God. (Isaiah 64:6) So we can exert as much effort as we like, it will never be good enough. But in His love and mercy, He has made a way for us.
Jesus said “I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father but through me.” (John 14:6).
When I was in the New Age Movement, I studied many religions… I also explored the idea that Jesus might be just a righteous man. But those words challenged me… I had to make a choice… I pray God will lead you Himself, teach you Himself. You obviously love God, allow Him to do the work within you.
Take care.
Really? Because I’m pretty sure that if God created the universe, He sustains it. And since we are dependent on him, if He died, then why do we still exist. Plus, I find it odd that you are saying that the universe, something 15,000,000,000 years old was created by a man who lived and supposedly died 2000 years ago.
Hi Skhan,
Nice to see you back.
Is anything too difficult for God?
But for us to understand the ways in which He chooses to work is like a cat attempting to understand a course in mechanical engineering!
Take care.
Hi, the last two comments are truly very positive – however, lets remember that the most crucial thing in our lives is a RELATIONSHIP with the Living God. If we have this relationship, and walk in the Spirit, do let’s not deprive the men we love from the joy of knowing the love of God. So we all need to fix our eyes on eternal things, as well as our earthly love relationships. Indeed, if we have experienced such joy and freedom personally, isn’t it cruel not to share it with those we love? Are we guilty of keeping such liberty and freedom and peace to ourselves?
This doesn’t mean trying to convert anyone from one religion to another… it’s deeper than that. It’s helping bring our loved ones in line with their eternal destiny.
What are your thoughts on this?
relationships only work when 2 people want it too….my 20 year marriage to my muslim man works because we make it work!!!!
Dear Ann,
I absolutely understand your point and it is what my boyfriend is trying to persuade me about, that if we can make it work, then our different faiths will not be a problem. However, I will ask you one simple thing about marriage and forget about other problems. Jesus blessed the wedding, the Church does not recognize the civil marriage and when your marriage is not done in the Church you are supposed to commit adultery in the eyes of God. I am Christian Orthodox and the wedding is a mystery (=sacrament) where the Holy Spirit blesses the couple into the union in front of God. How can this union be blessed if it is not made in the Church, in front of God? My boyfriend wants to marry me, he has proposed to me, but I want my marriage to be blessed, I want my union with a man to be through the Church, through the body of Jesus Christ.
Let alone other problems such as the raising of children. Do you think you will not be responsible in front of God if you have raised your children as muslims and your children have not accepted the truth in their heart about Christ, the son of God? Of course you will be…
People make mistakes, me among them. We know exactly what the Word of God is, we know what a sin is, what is good and what is bad, but we are trying to find excuses to ourselves for being disobedient towards God. And if we don’t know exactly what the right thing to do is, we can always consult a priest. The problem is we put our hearts and ours feelings before God and this is a major sin. I have been doing the same for about a year and even though I have tried to escape, I am still trapped in this, using my feelings as an excuse.
May God show us all the right path.
Ann, Liz, I have questions for my future fellow Christian wives who are married to Muslim husbands. My fiance and I have a great relationship, we can almost talk about anything. When it comes to the topic of religion, he goes on and on about stories that he has memorized as if it is the explanation for everything. Also, it is very typical for muslims around here to get so defensive about everything. and it never leads to arguments, because I DO NOT respond to stories or bad attitudes. but how do you guys talk about faith, without your husband becoming defensive or quoting or retelling stories that I obviously do not believe in? or do you just leave that topic alone? All I try to do is bring up is the topic of raising our kids. (We dont have any yet) I totally believe that neither one of us can stop the other from showing them our separate faiths. Knowing that this will probably lead our children to be agnostic or something completely different how have you all handled this?. Also, he’s a few years younger and comes from a culture where men’s adolescents lasts to their 30′s. Are any other women dealing with this? I have come on here waiting for other women to relate to on these subjects and so I just laid them all out here to see if there is some great advice from these women who have been married 15 to 20 years. GREAT! congrats!
Oh, i could write on forever about how wonderfully loving and understanding he is. but its just breaking down those walls that cultures build up around us.
Believe it or not…I happen to be 4 years older than my husband. To be married to a muslim man who is younger than myself is way out of the norm in his culture and religion. Amongst his friends the wives are usually the younger.
And to answer your questions about how to raise the children, I have 2. 2 sons and we both want the best for them. We agreed on only 2. he comes from a huge family of 12 and he saw just how hard it was for his parents to raise them. He discuuses how hard it is to raise a bunch of children with his family who just can’t seem to stop popping children out. I guess my man is just part of the modern muslims. I have had my fare share of meeting muslims who want nothing to do with me because I only have 2 children or I am not a muslim or even if you can believe accuse me of taking their kind of man away from them. hahahahahaha, I just laugh at them. My children have lots of choices…to fast or not…to go to the mosque….to pray….they have the freedom he has…after all he chose to find the person to love than have one chosen for him
Hi Ann, I’m older than my husband too. He had already rejected Islam before he met me. He wanted to find God so badly that he studied the Quran extensively – and decided to reject all religions because of it. He has enough information to publish a book on this – but couldn’t be bothered right now. Like your husband, mine has treated me like a queen – and in return, gets treated like a king. The Lord has given me specific scriptures for him, so I too get angry when people throw verses like “do not be unequally yoked with an unbeliever”, as only God knows man’s heart. However, I know that without God’s specific word for my husband, I could not have married him. For the sake of HIS eternal destiny. But we serve an awesome God, who gives His Spirit to lead us – when we are led by God’s Spirit, we are not subject to laws and ordinances – but are totally sold out to His perfect will.
Laura
My husband is always quoting the coran and related stories, however i don’t talk about my faith ever mainly because he doesn’t want to hear and as you say becomes defensive. I, to, like yourself have learnt not to respond to stories and bad attitudes, i pray about the bad attitiudes. As for the children, this is a very delicate subject for the muslim, they expect their children to be like them, from the age of 7 years they learn to pray and go to the Corranic school, and some the mosque, this has been my experience, and i live amongst many muslims and they to send there child. I pray for my children a lot and i have experienced much heart wrenching pain concerning my faith. The Lord told me on one occasion concerning my first child ”to let go off her” everything is in “his hand” and His grace will be sufficient for me”. Indeed our children do belong to God anyway everything we have and own is His,
I did “let go” and “His grace was sufficient” and during that time i experienced a freedom, freedom from fear of the future concerning my kids, knowing all is in God’s hand. He eventually turned everything around for the good. Sometimes The Lord even revealed Himself to my first child through other sources, tv was one, a schoolfriend was another, music was another i also shared ”in secret” when the ”opportunity” came. It doesn’t all depend on me though God is not limited, He’s used other people and that has encouraged me a lot. I believe it is my duty to pray and i do and He Hears and Reacts. After saying all this, i had my first child when i wasn’t a christian within the marriage. You are entering into a marriage and i strongly advise you to find out what your boyfriends feelings are concerning the children before you enter in and if you are planning to marry in the mosque?
{Please read Helen’s post from Dec 28th}
Liz , Precious One,
I will be praying for you….I pray that Our Lord and Savior would open your eyes to see how He loves you and He is so touch by your sorrow and suffering while keeping faith in Him!
Your letter touch my heart…..I was please to suffer with you, carrying your burden till the end. May our Heavenly Father hovers His wings of love over you and your familly.
God bless you
Wow, Liz, it seems as if your are in a muslim culture to have to do things in secret or is this is secret from your husband? I have talked with my husband about our kids and he is quite depressed when I mention about the western culture so influenced by Christianity much more than Islam. He’ll be without his family’s influence or Islamic schools and a few mosque when we raise our children. I feel quite awful to think that this wont be a fair fight and I would feel that if I were to change my desires in raising my children in church. Both of us will be quite heartbroken with our children to be of different faiths. I will raise my children in church every Sunday and he’ll be taking them for prayer every Friday and as long as I stay on the right path myself and be supportive of this, I fully believe that my children will find a relationship with God through the Son. Now, does this go against the verse of wives being submissive to their husbands?
Hi Laura,
A nice scripture is 1 Peter 3:1-4. What do you think?
Has the Lord given you any specific scripture about your husband, by the way?
Dear sister.
Did you ever see a verse in the Bible that might negate a verse of the Quran?? I would include the sharia law in teh Quran too, all is there in the Bible. Keep googling the subjects and you will find the verses.
God is love there is no doubt in that but the prophets tell us how to earn it.
Love of God even in the Bible is tied to keeping commandments
f you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love. Matthew 15:10
Read the Bible carefully starting from Old testament and count the number of commandments this Muslim brother your husband keeps.
Noticeat in terms of keeping commandments he is more Christian than most but follows Islam.
Belive in 1 God
Prays to unseen God of Abraham, Moses,
Worships Him daily
Not eat pork
No Alcohol
Fear God
Fast
Love parents
Not to look at women
Dress modestly etc so much more
Before Christianity and for centuries back till Prophet Adam thats what people did and thats what God accepted and there wa no Jesus then was there?? But God was ok with that.
The catholics CCC states that Muslims love and worship the true God and so they are saved. Muslims dont say they are saved except for after believing and keeping commandments but look they say it which will give you an idea they know.
CCC 841 The Church’s relationship with the Muslims. “The plan of salvation also includes those who acknowledge the Creator, in the first place amongst whom are the Muslims; these profess to hold the faith of Abraham, and together with us they adore the one, merciful God, mankind’s judge on the last day.”330
Sister, Do not leave the man who worships the unseen God that prophet Jesus worshipped, Islam is the Last testament after the Old and new testament.
Quran confirms the previous testaments but it also says pervious have been corrupted by the toungue. Sister you can even look into what Robert Eisenman has to say about the…
Q, Muslims have a very superficial understanding of sin. God says: “What, then, is the situation? Do we have any advantage? Not at all. We have already accused everyone (both Jews and Greeks) of being under the power of sin, as Scripture says, “Not one person has God’s approval. No one understands. No one searches for God. Everyone has turned away. Together they have become rotten to the core. No one does anything good, not even one person.”
500 Years before the prophet Isaiah said: The LORD is not too weak to save or his ear too deaf to hear. But your wrongs have separated you from your God, and your sins have made him hide his face so that he doesn’t hear you.
It is sad that those who reject the sacrifice that Jesus brought remain under His judgement: “They don’t understand how to receive God’s approval. So they try to set up their own way to get it, and they have not accepted God’s way for receiving his approval. Christ is the fulfillment of Moses’ Teachings so that everyone who has faith may receive God’s approval.” Therefor God’s invitation stands: “Moses writes about receiving God’s approval by following his laws. He says, “The person who obeys laws will live because of the laws he obeys.” However, Scripture says about God’s approval which is based on faith, “Don’t ask yourself who will go up to heaven,” (that is, to bring Christ down). “Don’t ask who will go down into the depths,” (that is, to bring Christ back from the dead). However, what else does it say? “This message is near you. It’s in your mouth and in your heart.” This is the message of faith that we spread. If you declare that Jesus is Lord, and believe that God brought him back to life, you will be saved. By believing you receive God’s approval, and by declaring your faith you are saved. Scripture says, “Whoever believes in him will not be ashamed.”
As you can see, Q, it is not about keeping laws, but puting your trust in what Jesus did for us.
That’s beautifully put, Pieter! That’s it, in a nutshell. The focus should be on our eternity with God, something which can’t be earned – a gift we can either accept or reject. We come to God as we are, He does the perfecting and the saving – the only thing we need to do is believe (accept God’s truth). Indeed, Jesus said “I am the way, the truth and the life, no one comes to the Father but through me”. Those words were what convicted me to turn from dabbling in the New Age religion. So many people think of Jesus as a prophet, as a “good man”, etc. But He claimed to be God (“Before Abraham was, I AM!”).
lol, superficial? We simply repent to God and perform good deeds to make up for sins. You know, actually contributing something useful to the world.
I have married a muslim man and am finding him the most selfish, short-tempered, lazy individual I have ever met. Though I love him, he is impossible to live with and quite crazy. As a Christian woman I would love to be free of him now, but it is not possible. How do I live with this creature?
Hi, the only thing I can think of is to connect with the Holy Spirit and see where to from here. It’s already done, you’re married and who knows what God’s plan for the future is, but God Himself?
Two verses spring to mind: 1 Peter 3:1-4 and 1Corinthians 7:13-14. Please read them, I don’t think space allows me to type them here.
How you handle things now are critical. If you are not in any danger, you indeed have no choice but to stay in the marriage – and the way you conduct yourself will either speak for Christ or against Him.. If there is any abuse, however, you do need to seek help and even leave the marriage (how were you married, what vows did you exchange – if any?).
The most important thing to remember is your eternal destiny – and His, so a lot of prayer is needed. You need to connect with the Lord and seek His wisdom in this difficult matter. Your husband, whom you love, is also a soul Christ died for.
I would like to add my personal knowledge here. Faith is something deep inside us which can be maintained even if we enter an inter-faith marriage. However, as Christians how do we maintain our loyalty to Christianity if we get married to a Muslim or any other unbeliever? I am Orthodox and if I marry the man I love (he is muslim) I will never be allowed to take the Holy Communion, my marriage will not be blessed in the eyes of Christ and I will be committing adultery for the rest of my life. How can someone be a true Christian if he doesn’t follow the rules of Jesus Christ as we inherited from Him through the Apostoles? All Christians who are in love with unbelievers should be really careful, because in the end it is not only about faith, what matters is if we choose Jesus Christ over a man or a woman….
Dear helen so sorry to read of your predicament,i am muslim born in a cristian country england by the way i love the land i was born in !anyway you love a muslim,your afraid to lose your family your religion your idenity, fear not our lord has made provision for you and me.
marry the muslim and tell him of your rights,if he does not except that you have every right to keep your religion tell him your lord has made provision for you and him,tell your love that his children will be bought up as muslim”inshallah” and that your lord has made provision for you and him.
So be happy Helen our lord has made provision for you and me !
Lord made provision for me with His teachings and the Apostoles’ teachings as well. And I shouldn’t marry an non-believer coz my union with him will not be in God’s eyes. This is what I believe as a Christian. My boyfriend believes that our marriage will be in front of God, he doesn’t want me to convert and he doesn’t mind if our children are raised as christians. However, it’s my personal belief that if I marry him I will disobey to my Lord’s rules and one of them is not to marry non Christians.
Helen, i feel for your struggle. I also had to make the decision. Should I marry him or not which was does God prefer? I do believe that God put my fiance in my life for me. I read the Bible for answers and I feel that God strongly encourages us to Love and have a close relationship with him. I have dated Christian men before and relationships i have had with Christians as in friends, family and partners put more strain on my relationship with God than my fiance. And this man I have chosen to marry has only helped me go to God more than ever. I can honestly say that he has made me a better Christian and a person. This is what I want in a relationship and I believe God provided. People have told me before that our marriage wont be in front of God. I think what funny choice of words. Everything is in front of God. He is in everything and as a Christian I believe that God is with us always surrounding us with Love and guidance. I hope you find peace with your difficult decision, keep the word close with you in your time of struggle.
Hi dear Helen,
Helen, if you feel that way, the Lord has convicted you and warned you. This union would have been from the Lord ONLY if you had perfect peace and a specific word from the Lord – and if you had confirmation from other believing friends/family.
In the absence of that, and in the light of the conviction you have that it would be wrong to marry the man you love, while he remains a Muslim, it would indeed be disobeying the Lord to enter into the marriage covenant with him.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path” (Proverbs 3:5-6)
I pray for strength and courage for you – and for salvation for the man you love.
Hi,
My name is Juliana. Im christian dating a turkish muslim guy for like almost 3 years, but 2 years we live separate as Im studing in US and he’s in turkey. We are very madly in love and all this time we are together. My parents and most of friends dont know about this relations as their attitude according to some life experience is very ” bad” to muslims men. We are planning to get married. His parents dont like this idea as they dont believe in our future together. And Im sure that my parents wont like that too. But he doesnt care about somebody’s thoughts even his family’s, he says: its my life, my choice. I wont give up. If they loved me they will accept my choice. We plan to live in Turkey, in any other city from his parents.
Im a little bit confused now. I understand what Im doing, I know its a huge risk, after reading lots of bad stuff about such experience Im of course afraid but somethings inside of me doesnt want me to give up. This love makes me believe that we will be happy together as we both want it so much. He’s saying that he doesnt care about religion and other stuff, he just wants to be with me forever. Once he said he can even become christian if thats what he has to do to be with me. All these and much more stuff makes me feel really loved and I want it to last forever. But Im very much afraid to be disappointed in the future as the most of…
Juliana, There are different things that influence a person when he/she s single or married. I will give you a simple example to illustrae my point.
I know of a guy that was living with a lady for five years. They knew one another quite well by this time. He knew she did not like baking cake; she knew he did not like cake. Then they decided to get married. After the marriage he all of a sudden expected of her to bake him a cake! She was angry with him and asked, Why do you all of a sudden want met to bake you a cake? You don’t even like it. He explained to her that his parents did this. His mother always baked his father a cake. That made a big inpression on him and he up to that day associated it with marriage. Now that he was married that is what he expected to happen. It was in his subconscious mind. He never thought about it, so he would not have been able to discuss it before the time.
Both you and your boyfriend are in the same situation. You do not know what things will come into play once you are married. People who come from the same culture and social standing have difficulty adjusting to one another, but it is ten times worse for people whose backgrounds differ a lot.
I have been married 43 years. Let me tell you that it is not love that makes a marriage work. Love is the fruit of a marriage that works. If both of you are convinced you are meant for one…
Pieter, Thanks so much for your respond and help. I guess you are right about the doubt. Yes I have doubt he will be the same loving and caring after we get married.
I understand that marriage means something more than love. I understand that its much easier to be married to the guy from the same country with the same culture, religin, but even sometime that doesnt work for some people. I never belived that one day I will feel I wanna get married and live my whole life with one person, see him everyday next to me and have a family with. Thats what I felt with my turkish boyfriend. I like him so much, he is my friend, my support, he is the one I feel I wanna see by my side every single day, he is the one I feel I wanna have kids with and start family. He tells me that I mean everything for him. I felt blessed that I met such person and have such strong feelings for him. I get the same loving from him. But.. there is a but.. I have doubts its not gonna be like this after marriage. I’ve read many stories about other women shared their experience. They told about how sweet and nice their husbands were before marriage and how they changed after. It was horrible to read that. Im afraid to be the next victim. We’ve disscussed this with my boyfriend before and he says he is different than other turkish men.
I really want our relations to work out. I have such strong feelings for…
If both of you are convinced you are meant for one another why don’t both of you face your families? If your family meets him and get to know him, they may come to like him. If he loves his family, he would do what pleases them. If he puts aside his family who have cared for him all his life, how easy would it be to put you aside who he has only known for three years.
Why are you are confused, I would rather call it doubt? You must first calrify this situation before you commit yourself into a situation of which you don’t know the outcome.
Jesus Christ be with you.
Juliana, the best way to resolve this, is to take him to meet your family. Don’t stress about how your parents will react. Just visit and enjoy it. Show off your boyfriend. But watch how he reacts to you under this circumstances.
Go with him to visit his parents. Watch how he behaves towards his sisters and mother. Then you will get a good idea how he will treat you.
Jesus be with you.