He’s handsome. He’s charming. He’s got good moral beliefs. He treats you like no other man has treated you. Why wouldn’t you want to be dating him or maybe even marry him? Think again.
These are all questions I asked myself a few short years ago when I was dating the man of my dreams. He was all I could have asked for and so much more. We connected like I never had with another human being! It was amazing! At the time we met, neither of us was actually practicing our faiths but both came from strong backgrounds, he Muslim, and I Christian.
Things I know now that I wish I’d known then…
- People change. The man I married was not serious about his faith, but about a year into marriage, he was suddenly praying 5 times a day and needed to abide by the (MANY) rules of Islam (including no kissing during Ramadan – as long as the sun was up!!).
- In some ways, there is no such thing as “the individual” in Islam. Everyone is part of a family, a people group, and/or a community. Decisions are made as groups, not individuals and pressure is put on by families. Families have an extremely strong influence on their children – even from across the ocean!!
- Once married, the man is in charge and expects to always have his way, in everything.
- In Islam, it is okay for a man to marry a Christian woman because it is expected that he will convert her (and be blessed with many virgins in paradise as a result!! – I can’t find the reference for this… but I’m sure there is a reference in the Qu’ran – if you can’t find it, feel free to delete it) – she may not be allowed to practice her own faith.
- That in order to be married “legally” in Islam, you have to be married in the Mosque – my husband , after 1 year of thinking we were married, went as far as refusing to sleep with me until we got married in a mosque. I cried every night.
- Things get extremely complicated and hard when children are in the picture. Circumcision or not? Baby dedication or not? Go to church or mosque? Explaining to a young, confused child why daddy doesn’t believe in Jesus the same way that we do.
- Breaking up a dating relationship is very painful and hard to do… but marrying a Muslim will lead to a lifetime of heartache. Marriage is not to be taken lightly – it is covenant between you and God. It is not meant to be trial and error, as our western society often suggests.
What can a person say to a woman who is dating or thinking of dating a Muslim man?
- Be lovingly supportive – being judgemental will not help at all.
- Pray, pray, and then pray some more that the Holy Spirit will take hold of her heart and re-claim it for Jesus.
- Be honest about your apprehensions, try to introduce her to another Christian woman who is already in a marriage relationship with a Muslim (contact 30-days to find one if you don’t already know one).
- If she’s asking you about it, she’s questioning. Questioning is good. The answers need to come from God, not from you – wait on God with her.
- Despite all the best advice and all the right answers, she might go ahead and marry him – keep loving her and do not give up on her.
- Dating a non-believer of any sort is a symptom of a deeper problem – rebellion of the heart.
Know that God is light in our darkness, healing in our pain, comfort in our suffering. He is stronger and bigger and more powerful than any temptation we have here on earth. By His strength, we can choose to obey that still, small voice in our hearts.
“Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits at God’s right hand in the place of honor and power. Let heaven fill your thoughts. Do not think only about things down here on earth. For you died when Christ died, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God.” (Colossian 3:1-3, NLT)
A great website for understanding what the Qu’ran says is:
http://www.answering-islam.org/ Authors/ Fisher/ Topical/index.htm
Editors Note: we have the offer of a Christian women wanting to help other women married to Muslim men. Feel free to leave comments and questions below in the comment section for now. We can always start a Marriage forum if we get enough replies.
hi, I am an Indian Christian. i was brought up in a Christian background. My family is a believer and me too. I love the Lord with all my heart and ask Him for help in every situation.
I took baptism when I turned 17, and the same day I met this Muslim guy, i don’t know how i fell in love wit person. He was the guy whom i always dreamed of. I took this relationship to the lord. By God’s grace it has been six years that i am dating him. But now as m 22, after a year or two I have to get married. I am tensed. I don’t know if I am doing the right thing, My parents are not happy about this. they too are praying about it. I don’t want to hurt the Lord . . I love Him more than anything.
But i need to decide, I am praying to God to save him. and I believe that one day this will happen.
Please can u guide me .. .
I think that the fact that you have posted here is an indication that the Holy Spirit is trying to speak to you. I will share about a time in my life where the Holy Spirit was speaking to me and I ignored.
2002 – My (then) boyfriend and I had been dating a few months and things were getting serious. I was very attracted to him and enjoyed being with him, but knew that God did not approve of my choice. I chose at that time to break up with my boyfriend. I have never cried so hard as I came to terms with the depth of my selfishness, my desire to be with this man who I knew was not who God wanted me to be with. My heart broke as I walked in obedience to my Lord. At the time, I probably didn’t even recognize where the promptings were coming from, as my heart was hard towards God.
A break in my work schedule allowed for a natural break of a couple months before I saw him again. He did call me a couple times and we talked. The feelings that I had were so strong, so strong I just had a hard time turning them down. Upon my return to the place where we met, we saw each other on occasion, as friends. The undercurrents of what we shared never went away and the attraction just grew stronger. Eventually, I gave in. We got back together and started dating again. At this point, my faith in God had dwindled immensely, leaving me feeling even more motivated to stay in relationship with this guy.
2010 – Looking back to that moment in time, I am deeply saddened that I did not obey my gutt, or more accurately, the Holy Spirit. God forgives us for sinning, that I have discovered… but the consequences of my choices that year are apparent each and every day I live. The latest struggle has been my husband’s request that we be married legally in the Mosque so that our daughter can gain citizenship from his home country.
Anisha, I can’t tell you what to do, but trust that GOD will… and that He will give you the strength to stick to your decision, whatever it is.
Anisha,
Your situation is sad and interesting. I think you already know what is right according to the scriptures and it seems to me that you have already admitted that you love this Muslim man more than the Lord or parents. May I say that you will live to regret your choice if you marry outside Christianity. The Muslim man will want you to change to his way of thinking and you will be stripped of your faith and religion. My advice is to follow the Lord and His word . Pursue peace and follow a clean conscience. A house divided can not stand. Run while you can even though it may hurt but you will find God will help you and you will not be sorry in the end. May God bless you.
Anisha, I too am living in India. I wonder if it would be possible to talk with you offline. I’m not sure how we could do that…you would need to post an email address or something. I would love to talk with you about your situation and share my heart as well.
hey moisha, ya sure we can talk . . this is my mail id thru which we can chat “amazed4evermore@gmail.com”
hey Joan, for Thanks spending your precious time to read my situation. But I just want to tell you that your observation that I love the Muslim more than my Lord and parents was wrong. If it was so I would have already gotten married, But I didn’t. I do love him, but I have always made it clear to him about my Priorities. I believe That my Lord is capable of doing miracles. I am not taking any decision, I cant leave him and go, as it’s not under my control, only God can provide me with the strength. I am in prayer to know His will. In India kids cannot choose whom they want to get married to, the parents need to choose the boy or the girl. As for me I can just make my parents meet the Muslim guy, if they feel fine, they will have a proper discussion, if no then the relation stops. I am trusting God for everything .
keep praying . . for me
I am sorry but the verse that you quoted above has not been presented correct manner. The transalation of the verse 4:34 is:
Men are the protectors
And maintainers of women,
Because God has given
The one more (strength)
Than the other, and because
They support them
From their means.
Therefore the righteous women
Are devoutly obedient, and guard
In (the husband’s) absence
What God would have them guard.
As to those women
On whose part ye fear
Disloyalty and ill-conduct,
Admonish them (first),
(Next), refuse to share their beds,
(And last) beat them (lightly);
But if they return to obedience,
Seek not against them
Means (of annoyance):
For God is Most High,
Great (above you all).
To the author:
I am truly sorry for all the pain that you and other women in your situation have had to go through, but blame the upbringing and how they were raised as the cause of these men’s behaviour, rather than their religion. Islam does not condone this behaviour. Also, you will be hard pressed to find a Muslim who does not know that a Muslim man is permitted to wed a Christian woman [or Jewish woman], however she should accept Islam first.
It is the man’s fault for not informing the woman of this condition and still knowingly pursuing the relationship. Neither the religion nor the woman is to blame here. It was the man’s duty to inform the woman about the conditions and if she refuses then discontinuing the relationship in its initial stages before either person develops strong emotions for the other.
It is sad that most people [including muslims] selectively follow their religion in the manner that suits their way of thinking, whether that be right or wrong.
Baloney!!!
Here is Islam in PRACTICE not just theory:
(see other comment – edited by Admin)
if Muslim man can marry christian woman, why not christian man marry a muslim woman?
Why Muslims objeect this?
I am not talking about religious practice; both men and women should be free to share their life with anyone they like; no religious restrictions should come in between them.
great points…. God bless you . . .:)
hey chickie, i too am in a relationship with a Muslim man since 6 years. i have been praying about it, and i dont want to take any step that will displease GOD and my parents. the person whom i love is a wonderful person. i am praying hard so that he finds salvation through christ.
hey, the example you gave about pulling down from one’s faith, i totally agree, but i don’t want to limit My Lord. my Lord has the power to turn impossible to possible. My Lord is the creator, He is almighty. He can do everything. A task like softening a muslim man’s heart is not a great task for my Lord. so I am sure every tongue shall confess and every knee shall bow and accept that Jesus Christ is Lord.
God bless you . .
Yea, that’s God but remember not to tempt Him with your will or heart desire but rather follow His revealed will.
I’m an African American Christian woman who has fallen head-over-heels in love with a Jordanian Muslim man. Yes, he’s wonderful and loves me better than anyone ever has. We’ve dated for almost a year and each day I love him more. He treats me like a queen and has every quality I require in a man. He’s an attorney, very smart, and handsome, I work in corporate America. Of course, there are a lot of questions that one has as I’m 9 years is senior, we are of different race, culture, traditions, lifestyles, religions affiliation and backgrounds are totally different. I tried not to get involved romantically with him as there are so many obsticals fasing us, but we both have been drawn into a web of wonderious delight and I can only pray that God bless this unity as two who both love God–how could God not approve?
We are planning on marrying and have discussed a lot, and I mean (A LOT) of how our lives are to be, what’s expected from a husband and a wife. Communication is key to any relationship. So many times we’re wrapped up in our own beliefs and never figure out what the truth really is. I’ve conveyd to him that I will never deny Jesus but I’m willing to learn about Islam and he is more than okay with this as we’ve learned to appreciate each other for who & what we are & have no desire to change how we feel or think. He’s learned a great deal from me as I from he.
Now, no one has a crystal ball & can see into the future. We can take past experiences & learn to live our lives according to our knowledge that we’ve gaind from them & from what I’ve learned along the way, I’m willing & ready for the long haul with him. He makes me happy and takes care of me the way a man should–isn’t this what we as women want and truly appreciate.
I can offer no advice as I too am learning everyday, but I will leave you with this… know what’s right for you, listen to your heart & you’ll know, love yourself & open your heart and mind to possibility.
Many blessings!
hey, nice to hear about your relation. today both of us decided to end our 6 year relation. tears cant stop rolling down my cheeks. but m happy for u. Heart is a big deceiver so try relating your feeling the Gospel so that God guides u . .
i am having a tough time. both of us were madly in love but we had to take some decisions which heart doesnt allow. but we did.
God bless u
Anisha,
May the peace of Christ Jesus remain with you forever.
What you have done is most difficult but often, the most difficult decisions we make are the best ones ever. Christ will heal your pain as He did to Job. Take courage and refuge in the Lord always. You are never alone.
When your time is near,
And God will open wide the gates of heaven for you to enter into the eternal Kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”
As for now Anisha, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!”
God bless
hey thanks for the blessings…. can u please pray my muslim friend comes to know Jesus. He wants to know the truth too. I was praying to God for some visions and dreams for him. He even saw a dream where he was bitten by a snake . . Please pray for him. He is a wonderful person.. the only thing he lacks in is in knowing the true Lord . .
Praying specifically for you in your situation. I know the tears. I know the longing to be together but I also know the consequences of disobeying God. Praying for endurance in this battle that you will face. Praying for friends who can walk with you through this time of grieving. And praying for God’s presence to be SOO strong that you know Him intimately and recognize that He is a part of your everyday – through the thick and thin. Trusting that He will care for your heart and bring healing. Thanks for sharing here.
Hugs!
~Em
hey thanks for the prayer. it was really sweet of you. i just wanted to ask u something. is dating a muslim kind of disobeying God? i really need an answer . .
thanks for everything. God Bless you . .
Happy,
I’m glad that you are happy and someone makes you happy but…
1.) You REALLY need to asked Jesus if it is okay to marry this man or pursue a relationship with him. While we humans don’t have a crystal ball, God sees and knows everything. Time is in Him and He is not bound by it. He already has a destiny for you. A destiny greater than you can imagine! That destiny may or may not include the man you are involved with now. To go ahead with your own ideas can change a lot!
2.) It’s not good to listen to your heart and follow it because it does lead you astray. God NEVER leads you astray. He is our Shepard and we shall not have any want. He leads us besides still and peaceful waters; He restores our souls.
3.) You ask how God could not approve of your engagement/marriage but again, He may have different plans for you. You don’t need to despise His plans because they are the best for you and those around you.
I’m going to ask you this, you don’t have to answer me, just answer it for yourself. How well do you know God? You may know a lot about Him, but you may not know Him. Jesus is our connection to God our Father. How well do you know Jesus? And Holy Spirit, who dwells in us, how well do you know Him?
If you know God then you know that He knows what He is doing concerning you. You know that He loves and likes you. You know that you can trust Him when He tells you no or to wait. You know that He is working everything out for good.
Please Happy, bring it to God first and not to your heart. God will not deceive you but your heart will.
I don’t think so. Why don’t you watch your temper?
hey, thanks for your prayers. I don’t know if i should be sad or happy. But we could not end the relation. we were back together, I am so confused what to do. I don;t know what God has in store for me. I am just Praying for his salvation, so that he comes to the Lord and accepts Him as His saviour. Please I need prayers.
Hey Anisha,
How are you doing now? I’ll be really praying for you and for your boyfriend. If I may, could I tell you this piece of advice? You don’t have to take it but at least hear it out.
If God specifically tells you no on something, it is always best to listen to Him even if it hurts our hearts right now. There are countless testimonies of people who ignored God’s no and wished later that they had listened but I’ll only say a few concerning marriage.
-Glenn:
Glenn was dating a woman who he loved greatly and he couldn’t imagine living life without her. At that time he believed in God, Jesus and Holy Spirit but wasn’t walking closely. He proposed to his girlfriend and heard very clearly from God not to marry her. But Glenn chose to marry her anyway. Less than a year of marriage, they hated each other. They couldn’t make anything work out for good. Eventually, she filed for divorce and he was in tremendous pain. He is better now but says that he still deeply wishes he had listened to God and saved himself from all that.
-Kim:
Kim was just out of highschool when her boyfriend proposed to her. She knew that God didn’t want her to marry her boyfriend, she did it anyway. Shortly afterward, he r husband showed sides of himself that he never showed before. Her next twenty years of marriage were filled with drunkness, drugs, adultery, porn, jail, court, theft, embezzlement, lovelessness and public embarrassment. She couldn’t stand it. But because she had married him, God told her to not to divorce but stay and pray for him unless he wanted a divorce. Because she stayed and prayed, he gave up his addictions, his affairs, his crimes (mostly) and came back to her and his family. He still doesn’t believe in God, but he is still on his journey to God. Kim says that she wishes she had listened to God. The man she was supposed to marry is out there making someone else happy and that still hurts, despite that her marriage is better.
If you can’t clearly hear what God is saying on a matter- STOP! DON’T DO ANYTHING! It is better to wait and hear rather than rush ahead and regret. This other story is of my cousin Stephanie, who wasn’t getting married but was deciding a major life change.
-Stephanie:
Stephanie had everything going great for her- she was beautiful and young, her family loved her, she had two good jobs, talent and a boyfriend that was a strong, Godly man. But she wanted to go to college and couldn’t afford it or take out a loan. So she thought she would join the military and have them pay for her school. (If you knew Stephanie you would know that she is NOT military material AT ALL!!) We told her not to but she still considered it seriously. She spent over a year studying and talking with a military recruiter. We told her to pray about it but she said that she was too confused and couldn’t hear God clearly.
So, she did what she thought was logical and joined the military. After her first day of duty, she came home crying and said she hated it. The job they told her she would have was nothing like they said it would be. Officers screamed in her face and made her cry in front of people. If she were called on, she would have to go to battle. She can’t quit because she is bound to the military for the next eight years. She can’t even handle bootcamp (which is coming up soon).
Everyone wishes she had stopped and listened for God, but nobody wishes it more than her.
I tell you this not to make you feel guilty but to honestly warn you! I don’t want you to make a mistake (especially a big one like marriage). I really do care about you and him. But for both of your sakes, it would be best to wait on marriage or even call off the relationship.
Anisha, please listen. He may eventually be the right man for you. He may never be the right man for you. If he is Mr. Right, then he has to love and follow Jesus before he becomes your right man. You can continue to pray for him and his family but it wouldn’t be good for you or him to get married. It isn’t fair to him because he will want you to be Islamic like him and it isn’t fair to you because you will want him to love Jesus like you. And what about your children? They will either have to choose between you two and cause problems in the home or he will want them to be Islamic.
Maybe this man is not your Mr. Right and God has someone even better prepared for you down the road. I know of people who broke off engagements and relationships and thought it was the end of the world. They couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. But five to ten years later they are very happily married and extremely glad they did not marry those other people.
Please, please, please stop and listen to God. If you can’t hear Him- don’t go ahead! If He’s saying no, then don’t continue the relationship- flee if you have to!- and cut off communication with him until you can get grounded in God’s love for him instead of romantic love.
Find salvation in Christ?…Jeez..how can anyone that follows an all powerul God in Islam ever go backwards and think God has to come through a womans birth canal to save mankind from a devil he created.
Jesus goes to a fig tree hungry. Fig Tree out of Season. Jesus curses it and goes to bed angry. Disciples wake him to tell him fig tree he cursed has died.
What do we learn from the true story. Besides some made up reasons..Tree means this..and figs means that…
Jesus Hungry? a god Hungry….Deficient as a god
Fig Tree out Season….a god ought to know it was out of season before getting angry…Deficient as a god
Curses the fig tree…Merciless god that kills a tree he has given rules to…Deficient
Goes to bed sleepy…..a Sleepy god?….Deficient
Disciples inform him about the dead tree….he ought to know it died…Deficient
Deficient as any man that is made to look like a god by the very ppl he tried to preach to about the real God his Lord
May God save you and Peace and blessings be upon this Nobel Messenger Jesus, The Christ.
Beautiful Islam…Honor killings!
In Jordan, the royal family has condemned honour killings but the government has not acted in repealing lenient laws for fear of enraging Islamic conservatives. The frighteningly powerful Islamic Action Front party, has declared that the proposal to introduce harsh laws against honour-killers “would destroy our Islamic, social and family values by stripping men of their humanity when they surprise their wives or female relatives committing adultery” (“family values” are certain to raise their ugly head whenever there is talk of justice for women!). Also they declared that honour killing is an Islamic duty and they justify their actions by the fact that Mohammed advocated stoning for adultery.
The verse that You mentioned only indicates that, Jesus was completely man and completely God.
The line that you mentioned about God being born of a woman. I know this seemed impossible for you to imagine. But you know what Nothing is impossible with God the creator. he left the throne of Heaven and took birth in a stable in a humble way. This shows how much God loves us. To save us from the sin he came down to earth and gave his life to save us.
I hope You find peace In Christ.
To answer your question: Your friend is only following what every practising muslim has been commanded to do by GOD;which is during the month of ramadan,cut off all things leading to sin.POINT BLANK! Trust me when I say “its not personal” for whatever reason he has gotten close to you, it is only a result of him not really understanding his purpose in life and most def. not knowing the laws of Islam in keeping a muslim man or woman safe from harm.Meaning staying away from all things or people who will not assist in your forward progress.Forward progress for any muslim is trying to leave this world being obedient as possible to GOD trying to ensure a spot in heaven and not hell.Your friend does not wish to harm by or exclude you but you better believe no one is co-signing him being with a non-muslim at all.No muslim that is truly practising Islam in its entirety. Hope this was helpful
Under Shari’a – Islamic law – a man can marry up to four wives. He can divorce his wife or wives by saying “I divorce you” three times. For a wife to obtain a divorce is usually very difficult. Muslim apologists claim that Muslim women have the right to divorce and that in Islam the mother is revered and respected. Upon divorce, fathers win custody of boys over the age of six and girls on the onset of puberty. Many women would be reluctant to divorce violent or polygynous husbands for fear of losing their children. Despite the exaltation of motherhood – Mohammed once told a follower that paradise is found at the feet of the mother – children are considered the property of the father with the mother being merely the caretaker. How is it possible for a Muslim man to respect his mother when immutable religious law proclaims women’s inferiority and inadequacy?
Under the Shari’a, compensation for the murder of a woman is half the amount of that of a man. A woman’s testimony in court is worth only half of a man’s. Women are entitled to only half the inheritance of males; the reason given for these is that males have families to provide for. In sura 4:34 men are granted superiority and authority over women because they spend their wealth to maintain them, this implies that women are a burden on society and that their work in caring for children, household and livestock is insignificant and trivial.
Girls as young as nine can be married off by their father even if the mother disapproves of the marriage, often they end up as second or third wives of much older men – here is a way to instantly eradicate illegal paedophilia! Conservative clerics have resisted moves to raise the minimum age for girls. One of Mohammed’s wives, Aisha was seven when she was betrothed to Mohammed and nine when the marriage was consummated, Mohammed was in his fifties with several wives.
Any attempts by various governments to give women more freedoms, greater property and marriage rights have been vehemently opposed by conservative Islamists, who insist that the reforms are against Islam.
In the Qur’an the prescribed penalty for adultery is one hundred lashes and a year in exile – sura 24:1. However, Mohammed did condemn people to be stoned to death, in one case the rabbis brought a man and a woman accused of adultery, Mohammed ordered the pair to be stoned to death. The Jews practiced stoning for adultery and it is mentioned in the Old Testament under Mosaic Law. Today many Islamic fundamentalists advocate the stoning of women and stoning does occur in many Muslim countries.
In Muslim countries, men have the power of life and death over their women. Honour- killers usually escape punishment and the ones that are tried and convicted, receive only a few months in prison where they are treated like heroes by other inmates. Honour killings are carried out by men against women in their family for disobedience or suspected sexual transgressions. Even women who have been raped are killed for defiling the family honour.
No to slavery!
Why are all these women ok with religion that says that men are better than they are? Chickie and Mo: the Bible (Jew, Christian, Muslim) says that men are better than women. Also Synagogue/Church/Mosque leaders are men.
So you are ok with being treated as lower class?
This makes no sense.
What do women get in Muslim heaven? To wait on men hand and foot? Ridiculously misogynist and you have no shame.
An islamic marriage does not need to be conducted in a mosque. Most marriages conducted in Muslim countries are not done in a mosque, it isn’t even an option.
What is so horrific about someone praying 5 times a day?
What is wrong with decisions being made by a family? I thought Christians were family-friendly.
I think a good portion of the Muslim men out there didn’t get the memo that they should expect “to always have his way, in everything”. Just how many Muslim men exactly did you date that you are confident enough to speak for them all?
What on earth is a baby dedication? To whom is the baby dedicated?
so I assume that it would have been better for you to marry a christian man who doesn’t practice like most.Who would go out every evening with buddies, get drunk, come home beat you up, then leave you for his mistress.That’s a lot better than a good muslim man who respects his wife and follow the teaching of God.
Cutlture and religion are 2 different things,educate yourself.
Hi Munir,
Humans are bad that is the reason we need a God. If we humans were all Good we wouldn’t have needed God. A unwell person needs a doctor, not a healthy person. All humans are unwell and we all need some one to save from the sin. God promised a saviour for us in Isaiah 53 who would die for our iniquities.
one more thing Please don not generalise … If you have seen 100 people behaving badly that doesnt meanBillions of ppl living also do the same. we are not here to criticise others religion and defend our own coz It wont lead us to any conclusion. Its not a debate. we are here to find out the truth an find a solution.
We are all bad. I too am bad That is why I need jesus’s blood to be upon me and save me…
God bless you..
hey everybody,God bless u all
i think that “christy”is an hypocrit muslim Male, who can not handle the idea that islam is falling down because of its unhuman teachings..and this way of saying sorry for my english and 2-3 times im from hong kong(i.e im not a muslim) and this “salamu alikoum”+the word “shahadah”(written by Him with islamic vocabulary)..
All this leads me to conclude that this so called”christy”wants to advocate his religion in a way or another by offending our christian beliefs..p.s: The quran doesnt have an old testament which emphasis the life of people before christ and the new testament which is the words of our God Jesus Christ ,these teachings full of love and forgivness contrarely to the quran with its two parts mecca and madina suras which all of them teach hatred towards “pagean”(i.e non believers of islam)
Salam al MASSIH-Christ peace be upon you
Hello there,
I know I said I wouldn’t be replying, but I felt like replying to this one because it has nothing to do with points I have raised, or even points others have raised. Should be fun refuting this illogical reasoning for my “real identity”…
First of all thanks for making me laugh. Seriously? Male? Me? I do prefer pants over dresses but I guess establishing my masculinity would take quite a bit more than that. I took a course in Language and Gender last semester and, reading over these things I’ve written over a year ago, I felt my writing couldn’t be MORE feminine-sounding.
So advocating Islam and being Asian somehow makes me a Muslim male. Oooookay.
And just because I know “Assalamu Aleikum” and “Shahada”, means I’m a Muslim man pretending to be an Asian girl who is not Muslim but defending Islam on a Christian website? (Okay this is getting really twisted. Does your brain hurt yet?) Come on. Anyone interested in the Middle East/world religions/Arabic will probably come to know those words. In fact I first learned them in Arabic class at university — a very secular setting where most of my classmates were Christian. For a while, whenever we saw each other, we’d yell Assalamu Aleikum to each other becaues that was the only thing we knew in Arabic that we could say confidently. My point is, the phrase “Assalamu Aleikum” does NOT automatically index Muslim identity, and neither does “Shahada”. It is simply a more efficient way of saying “conversion to Islam” (1 word vs 3!!!). And for a website that deals primarily with cross-religion contact, the word “shahada” should not come as a surprise.
And, FYI, I did end up converting to Islam, in late 2010. I feel like I have matured somewhat since my first comments, and if they were too harsh in tone then I apologize. But my basic views remain the same. AND: I hereby assert my femininity (lol, never thought it would have to come to that) — I AM NOT A MAN!!!
Hey Christy!
I don’t know if you’ll ever read this or not because it has been awhile but I wanted to apologize for what some people who have commented have said. First of all, they do not represent all of the followers of Jesus (just like terrorists do not represent Islam). I am sorry that others have fought with you. Though people of all beliefs defend their faith I think we can still defend without the hate. I also want to let you know that there is no hate in Jesus and when someone declares to be a follower of Jesus but spews hate at you (or anyone else) then they do not have Jesus’ love in them nor do they know Jesus.
As for the website which prays for people to come to know Jesus, I would also like to explain that. The people which started the site believe that Jesus is the only way to God and to heaven. Anyone who denies Jesus, also denies God and heaven. The only other place for humans to go after death is a place where God is not. Everything that God is, isn’t there. God is good so there is no good there, God is love so there is no love there, God is peace so there is no peace there… the place is named hell.
No one who genuinely knows Jesus wants people to go there. Also, Jesus brings life. He is the connection with God. We can have a relationship with God our Creator because of what Jesus has done. People who know Jesus want others to be able to know God as well.
We do not think that Christians are “superior” but we do know Jesus is Truth.
I want to ask you something Christy… if you believe in something, you want to know that you believe or trust something that is truth/real. You don’t want to believe in something that is false, right?
Same with showing others what you believe in and having them believe it too, right? Nobody wants to make others believe in something that isn’t true- that’s worse than anything!
If you agree that you want to believe in something that is true and you don’t want others to follow anything false, then you need to do this one thing:
Ask Jesus today or tonight to reveal to you the truth. He can come through any way of communication but ask Jesus to tell you if he is just a prophet or if He is God and Savior. Trust me, Jesus will let you know the truth! If he says he is only a prophet who proclaims that Islam is the true religion then continue in Islam. But if He tells you/shows you that He is God, Savior and He loves you then follow Him.
I lived in Egypt for 2 years and have friends who had relationships with Muslim men. I see what you are saying and the pattern of legalism and control is prevalent in Islam. Its even prevalent in the comments to your post.
I appreciate your post and you sharing your experience. I’ve heard of many other experiences and some were worse off than yours. I agree not all Muslim men are the same but the religion is different than Christianity and we should not be unequally yoked nor should we convert. It is very different and Jesus gives us freedom and liberty and life to the fullest. Why would we not want that?
I met a Muslim online and he wanted to get intimate and I asked why we needed to being that I was in another country and barely knew him. We continued to talk and remain friends but he kept pushing for something more and when I said no he turned many of the things we talked about around and belittled me and said I was afraid and accused me of other issues because I was not willing to engage my heart online to him. It was very strange.
I later met him in Egypt because I wanted to face my fears. He was not an issue at all. He didnt try to woo me and I felt certain he couldnt if he tried. The internet really magnified everything, the conversation, his words and his criticism. Seeing him in person was freeing and I never saw him again.
In Egypt I was proposed to constantly and commented on all the time. Marriage in the Middle East is not like marriage in the west. Its not about equal respect and honor. Women have a role and they are almost like a possession in the ME. They are not weak or silent, they just aren’t …free, like women in the west.
Just because a man is crazy romantic and pursues you doesn’t mean he really loves you and will forever honor you and consider you. It just means hes on the chase and when he gets you, you are his prize, not his equal. Women are always less than men in Islam.
I’m sorry you feel that way about marriage in the Middle East. The majority are not the same as the minority, what I mean is that you won’t find all Muslim men in the ME are the bad husbands you describe. As my husband is Middle Eastern and Muslim, I have many friends and acquaintances who are Muslim and Middle Eastern, and I see happy, healthy marriages. It’s funny and sad to me how the Muslim man from the Middle East is always painted as this horrible creature with no manners, love, or respect. The problem you were running into is one you can find in any foreign country: many people want to be in America and marriage is a guaranteed way to gain admission. My mother knew a woman whose daughter married an Italian man. When he receieved his greencard he just disappeared, he left for work one morning and never contacted her again, he got what he wanted. I also know a man who agreed to marry a woman from Russia to get her over here, a contract marriage. This isn’t something limited to Muslims or Middle Easterners. I was lucky, I found a genuine man who is an amazing, loving, and beautiful husband. He’s my prize and I’m his. He even asks for my opinions on everything from fashion to finances, and no he’s never hit me, which oddly enough many people seem to think all Muslim men hit their wives. I used to work for a domestic violence shelter, and since it was located here in the Midwest United States, the majority of men beating their wives were white Americans, usually of some Christian denomination when they were religious. They are still the minority though, and it would be wrong to judge all white American Christian men, or just white American men, based off of domestic violence statistics. Human nature has many flaws and you will find them everywhere, in every culture, iin every religion or belief system.
My first reply to you was deleted. I do not know why. I guess it is the moderator trying to be politically correct.
We should not sacrifice truth on the alter of political correctness!
However, the point I was trying to make is that Islam has to rethink its position that allows muslim men to take wives from other religions while not allowing the same for men from other religions.
Some Islamic scholars say it is to protect muslim women, this is with the unfounded assumption that muslim men are less-partriacal. Rather I think it is a teaching based on an idea to propagate Islam even through bearing children at the “expense” of other religions. This follows from the observation that the propagation of a population is essentially through the women. I have a word for this ideology but I wont use it here, in the hope that my post will be published!
All said: we can not love God if we do not love others. And if we love only those that love us there is no difference between us and murders who also love those that love them. It is God that give rain and shin to both the good and the bad. And there is no greater law than to love others as we love ourselves.
How do you propose Islam rethink its position? Belief systems are not creatures with brains.
You say we should not sacrifice truth for political correctness, yet you go on to espouse an idea that you feel is most politically correct. To be loving to fellow human beings does not require marrying them.
Dear truth
It seems you are another blind person or another person who sees the truth and still hides it.
Any Muslim person knows that the Quran allows Muslim men to marry non Muslims (people of the book). To be arguing with u about this is quite absurd.
No I have not made a politically correct statement. Actually the admin deleted my post probably because I used the word misogynist.
Now saying that Islam should reexamine it’s stance on interfaith marriage is not for the sake of being politically correct, it is just a matter of fact that it can not claim to be a religion of peace while being discriminatory within itself and outside it’s fold.
I find it interesting that you said that to love somebody does not require marrying them, well I pose a similar question to Moslems who justify the polygamy of Muhammed by saying he married even more than four to protect the women. Did he have to marry them to protect them.
To answer your question more directly the ultimate expression of love between a man and a woman is their marriage through which the two become one. This union is the most appropriate channel of expressing that love to it fullest. So yes if you love some one of the opposite sex and he/she loves you, you should not be hindered by the laws of men.
You may be tempted to refer to passages in the bible about being yoked together, I will also point you to other passages which say that a wife or a husband may be the one that will bring the other to the truth.
What is important is that you marriage does not draw you to sin, that is for example doing bad things to others or loving material things above God.
Dear Ben,
“However, the point I was trying to make is that Islam has to rethink its position that allows muslim men to take wives from other religions while not allowing the same for men from other religions”
How about you read what Islam and the Prophet have said about this rather than believing what you think is right?
Islam does not prescribe rules which says a muslim man can marry a non muslim woman. Because ignorant muslim men who marry non muslim women without even the proper way of Islamic marriage, it does not set an example for the entire religion and its believers!
Non believers who look at other Muslims and “they did this” & “how come”, should stop scratching their heads & instead look at the source of what Islam actually prescribes or get in touch with a muslim scholar, instead of proclaiming that this is what muslims do.
@truth Why are we beating about the bush, it is there in your Quran that muslim men can marry non-muslim women.
In addition, I assume it should be common knowledge that your prophet married women who were not muslims.
Isn’t there a case of a woman he took in to his tent (now I do not know what happened inside the tent) but he took her in on the same day that he had her husband and father killed. In fact one of his followers stood guard by his tent all night fearing that the woman may cause harm to Muhammed.
I think I will not engaging in this debate if we are not at least honest. The islamic teaching is that muslim men can marry non-muslim women and you know it is the truth.
Dear Ben,
It appears you are another hater. Kindly read the Quran and reconfrim what you want to know. The Quran does not say Muslims can marry non muslims, because a believer marrying a non believer does not make sense.
The Prophet married women who were widowed after say a Battle. But he did not marry them because of what haters like you think. He married them so that they can continue to lead their lives. Besides these “women” accepted Islam before marrying the prophet.
Please read up before you comment something. Truth does not become what one wants it to be.
Dear truth
It seems you are another blind person or another person who sees the truth and still hides it.
Any Muslim person knows that the Quran allows Muslim men to marry non Muslims (people of the book). To be arguing with u about this is quite absurd.
I think it would have been more of a truth if you put the word accepted in paranthesis in your last post. Or better you should have written “had to accept”.
30 days of praying for muslims? this site is bull crap. Dear christians how about coming to the real religion. the undistorted truth?
No trinity.
No guilty jesus.
No peado fathers
No corrupt churches.
Try it !
30 days of praying for muslims? this site is bull crap. Dear christians how about coming to the real religion. the undistorted truth?
No trinity.
No guilty jesus.
No peado fathers
No corrupt churches.
Try it !
Just have to say that not all Catholic priests are pedophiles, and people are using the molestation scandals to wrongly judge Chrisianity just as non-Muslims are using stories in the media to judge Muslims adversely. The answer isn’t to put down another’s beliefs and tell them to try yours because it’s better, the answer is acceptance and understanding and not judging others! If we’d all get to know each other more and not limit our judgements to our bad experiences or to the scary stories our friends and the media tell us about people who are different from us in some way, the world might be a more loving place.
Although I admit that as a Muslim I also don’t think I need 30 days of prayers from people who judge me wrong.
Dear Stephanie i do not know if you a convert to Islam or you were brought up as a muslim. As regards belittling others beliefs, christians are famous for walking up to poor muslims and throwing money at their faces and have promised them salvation if they become christians. Catholics & protestants are famous for this, especially in Africa and Asia.
Truth is majority of the christians who are not into the conversion business unlike the pope himself, also do not appreciate the Islamic faith either, instead they just say, God’s word has not reached them. On the contrary an average muslim admits and acknowledges and appreciates the fact that Jesus p.b.u.h was a Prophet like all other prophets of allah, and came here with the message of One god.
Christians with their weak hearts have created trinity after the whole of christianity was in danger of being wiped out because of the dominant church.
& truth be told, many catholics themselves do not know what the trinity actually means !
Stephanie, I just want to let you know that when people pray for you, fast for you and tell you about Jesus it isn’t because they don’t like you or are trying to judge you. It actually means that they care. I know that sounds weird (really weird) but it’s true.
What you will get is a peado prophet that equates believe in him to believe in God
A.a Bro well said & Ameen!
Here is why I find myself having to believe in Islam, though I am more comfortable with Christianity: Remember the story of Hagar and Ishmael in the Bible? How God saved their lives and told Abraham that they (and their descendants) would multiply greatly and be blessed? What kind of “blessing” would it be to give Hagar and Ishmael billions of descendants who would be misled by Satan and destined for Hell? If I was Hagar, I would prefer to die and have my son die, too, if this was God’s plan for my progeny. I cannot believe that God would save Hagar’s and Ishmael’s lives, watch over Ishmael as he grew up, send an angel to talk to Hagar….and then curse them with a “great nation” of descendants who would be misled by Satan and a false prophet! How unjust. I don’t believe God is cruel and unfair, so I must believe that Islam is a religion to be honored, a “brother” to Judaism and Christianity. I cannot think of Muhammad as better than Christ, but he IS similar to Old Testament prophets. Solomon and David had many wives and concubines. Moses and David, among others, were violent and even murderous.
Well first it is left for you to find the right model to follow. You have already pointed out indirectly the status of Jesus at least as was reported in the New Testatment.
Secondly, you have a misconception which is being spread around in the hope of authenticating Muhammed.
It is not all the Arabs that are decendants of Ishmael. There were other people other than Abraham and his household who were living in the Middle East before and after Abraham. So we should drop this idea that Muhammed and other Meccan’s came from Ishmael. They could have but we are not sure.
If you think about it, it is not all muslims that will go to hell and not all christians will go to heaven. In fact a good muslim living by good morals will be in heaven before a bad christian who lives a bad life.
However, there are also some concepts taught in Islam that is not correct. That is as simple as it is. And Islam viewed from the life of Muhammed does not contain the path to salvation and the ultimate moral standard for mankind.
There have been this issue regarding relationships as to who is more of a controller. Is it the man or the woman? I think regardless of race or ethnicity, there would always be the difference between a man and a woman. Both have different personalities given that they are in different races. Yes, American men could be the jealous boyfriends same as the Muslim men. I think there isn’t really any big difference about relationships when it culture. It is more on the attitude and habits of a person.
As I read all the comments, criticism, questions and thoughts I just realised once again that we are all sinners and far away from God. The only person that can change that is Jesus and the only way our sin, disobedience, wrong doings, etc can be taken away is by forgiveness in Jesus. Please don’t forget that our only hope for salvation and a life after death is Jesus.
you are in love with a Muslim man so was i. i even thought Muslim men were better then English men because the are grate loving honest men. he told me he loved me that he want marriage and kids and i wanted this to i was even going to convert. he told me i am the first women he has slept with him. but then i found out he already had wive and kids. his reply was i can have four wives and plenty of kids. and then the most of thing he told me had been lies and left me heart broken because i thought he was a grate different person but there not as long as they get satisfied down below and not alone they will go with anyone and tell you so many lies to get them to marry you please don’t get married with Muslim men ur soon regret it
thank you, that is happening to me, i havent get married yet and i wont! so many lies that make you belive is true, i have been making my research and praying to god for the correct thing to do and i found my answer. he is all that but something didnt click right and if us christians woman dont read we make the bigest mistake ever. i love him but is better now than open my eyes with regrets.
Thank you god.
@Emily Elizabeth: yes i agree. im a saved christian who’s sort of dating an arab muslim guy at the moment. This guy is more “americanized” or w/e, i dont think he’s really deep in his faith. We get along great. he makes me laugh, he’s so sweet, he’s intelligent…he’s super cute lol. our personalities just work GREAT together. anyways i kno i will never be able to marry him coz i truly luv christ with ALL my heart n respect the promise thats made in marriage before Him etc. BUT its like, he’s soo awesome! more awesome than all the other guys ive been dating recently.
So, because i want to bring glory to the kingdom of God in any part of my life, im praying that Christ will help me still stay focused in my faith n generally be a gd example of Himself as i interact with this guy. This way, im not prone to make crazy choices, but also be more of a gd friend to the guy, no matter how much we like each other. Would make it easier to break it off but still remain friends later on. All in all, ive never bn so confused when dating someone lol but thank God He’s always there to guide me, teach me and kp me safe, as long as i walk with Him daily. i believe there’s something to be learned in all this when i figure it out, that will benefit me as a person. anyways, that just my opinion
tooo funny….
why is this juliet person advertising her book here??? too funny……………….
I’m sorry for the author’s bad experience, it’s really sad to see anyone get hurt in a relationship when they love someone genuinely. No one can hurt us more than those we love. To feel a need to warn other women about dating or marrying Muslim men is not a good solution, however. It’s demeaning, ignorant, and nothing other than a form of prejudice. I’m surprised people with Christian values would be so judgemental. I was raised Catholic and converted to Islam four years ago after studying Islam for nearly ten years. My husband of four years is Muslim and one of the most decent men I know, and our relationship is not one of inequality, the poor treatment of women married to Muslim men is one of the biggest myths that continues to be propagated in our society.
People are getting their information from articles and stories about a limited number of people. Look at the many, many non-Muslim, American, sometimes Christian sometimes non-religious men who have affairs, or who commit domestic violence: there are many but they are still not the majority among good, loving husbands. The same applies to Muslim men. True though that Muslim men, or any person, coming from a more oppressive culture will bring those tendencies into a relationship, and that is what you have to be careful of. Although not even all Muslim men from a country with as many inequalities as Saudi Arabia can be judged based on this. My friend has been happily married for five years to her Muslim, Saudi Arabian husband. She’s Christian and he has never asked her to convert. My brother’s mother-in-law is non-religious and has been married to a Muslim man for almost 20 years, very happily so.
It all comes down to the individual. Religion can be a very strong issue in a relationship, but that applies whether the religion is Islam, hristianity, or Judaism. Oh, and no we don’t kiss or have sexual relations in the daytime during Ramadan, it’s just another form of abstinence as we fast from eating, drinking, and smoking in the daytime as well. It’s considered time to stay focused on prayer and allow yourself to be deprived of physical comforts and pleasures as a way to remember those who have less than you and to stay focused on your relationship with God.
Ignorance can be easily remedied by seeking information and getting to know people directly rather than judging groups of people you know little about, based on your assumptions or your limited perception from a personal bad experience. My first husband was American and Christian, but we married very young and the relationship had many negative issues that ultimately resulted in divorce. I’ve never once considered avoiding Christian American men because of it, but if I followed the reasoning on this website, I guess it would have been reasonable for me to do so. People simply need to be more understanding of others.
If its true that some Christians throw money and promise salvation, its poor evangelism but comparably far better than blowing them up as the Islamic practice.
Islamic practise is not blowing one’s self up. Western media has corrupted your minds. If you really want to know what Islam preaches look at the source, and don’t blindly believe what is enforced onto your eyes through American controlled media.
You must be thinking im nuts, but im not. & since you acknowledge poor evangelism could be the case, im very sure Jesus would not approve of over zealous followers of his to belittle others beliefs.
In Islam the union of the sexes has been purified and the joy of the married relation secured by the absolute prohibition of every kind of extra-matzimonial connection.The Holy Qur’an stresses upon the people to marry as it is the most effective means whereby one can lead a virtuous life free from immorality and emotional inhibition. The Holy Qur’an says: “They (your wives) are as a garment to you, and you are as a garment to them” (ii. 187).The mutual relation of husband and wife is here described in words which could not be surpassed in beauty.Herein is the correct description of the relationship between the two.The husband and the wife are for mutual support, mutual comfort and mutual protection, fitting into each other as garments fit into each other.
Taken from Sahih Muslim
Yet again i wonder how Muslim families have a lower divorce rate and more stable marriage as compared to our dear christian brothers and sisters, if our dear brothers and sisters claim the through Jesus PBUH you will find salvation so how come there is no advice on how to treat your spouse whereas we Muslims have been advised on how to treat our spouses.Islam has the solutions for all the problems of humanity.
SALAM and love for my Non-Muslim brothers and sisters [Edited for brevity – Admin)
Amira – you may want to review recent divorce rates in Muslim-majority comments before making such an assertion. Rates of divorce are skyrocketing in Indonesia. It is over 60% in KSA. Nearly one-third of marriages between Muslims in Egypt end the first year alone. Qatar, Tunisia, and Syria all have high rates. Unlike some other parts of the world, the rises continue to rise at extreme rates in Muslim majority countries. There is no reason to take a swipe at the Christians over this, as we as Muslims do have our fair share of marital problems if we are only willing to take an honest look.
Assalamu alaykum Dear sister,
I am not denying the fact that as Muslims we have no martial problems.But comparatively it is lower and secondly Muslim women these days love to follow western lifestyles and the norms of the west forgetting about the good characteristics of true Muslim woman so definitely there will be a arise in marital problems in the Islamic world.These days Muslim women have become very materialistic and want their needs to be fulfilled by hook or crook forgetting that this is just a temporary life stressing their husbands out.I wonder where all the materialism entered the Islamic world.
FYI many Christian men also physically abuse their wives so why aren’t we attacking and writing articles like beware of “CHRISTIAN MEN”?…..Well because we are merely humans and we have no right to judge others and at least as Muslims we don’t stereo type.Once again i am not attacking telling Christians are just wrong people.But instead i want them to stop stereo typing all Muslim men being violent just because of a few bad seeds because there are bad seeds in every religion,race,cast,creed etc.
Why can’t we just embrace each other and stop the hate from spreading?
My family is Christian and i embraced Islam Alhamdoulilah i am talking with daily experience here because the hate for Muslims by the Christians is increasing everyday.Misinforming good Christians and indirectly telling the Christians to doubt and look down upon Islam.
Leave the differences and love the each other.Lets respect each others beliefs.Seems more like a political agenda rather than a religious one.Allah guides who he wants.
SALAM,
PLEASE STOP THE STEREO TYPING THAT’S ALL!
wa alaikum asalam,
I think your post actually typifies many of the exact accusations some Christian make about Muslim men; that Muslim men see women as to blame for everything, so they don’t bear the responsibility for their actions, and Muslim women are submissive and go along with this mindset.
A wife’s “needs” (your words) should be met. To suggest, as you have, that wanting their needs to be met is somehow blameworthy once again fuels the stereotype. Materialism is sinful, but to suggest that women are the only ones buying into this is false, and the same misogynist claim made by the men who are usually the ones treating their wives poorly. “Oh, it’s the wife, she wants too much.”
Suggesting that the women are to blame only paints a further negative picture of Muslim men and adds fuel to the fire of the nasty stereotypes.
Dear Sister,
I am talking about women being so materialistic these days because i have personally seen women go to any length to get what they want and most marital problems usually occur because of some need not being fulfilled.What happens if the man cant afford what you want?Why do women still insist they want it?Just because it is every Muslim husband’s duty to take care of all the needs of his wife does not mean he has to give into every whim and fancy of his wife(ECONOMICS perspective would be=how to satisfy endless human wants and needs with limited resources).Just think about it.Most marital problems also occur due to envy or jealousy of another woman.A Muslim wife should not agree to something wrong her husband tells her to do but rather be understanding towards her husband to avoid marital issues because ALL men have a huge ego whether Muslim or Non-Muslim and a woman is created to be more understanding and malleable,it was just the way we are created.Also in the Bible it is said the man is the head and you have to obey him,so you see it is not just a “MUSLIM THING” to be a submissive wife because Christian wife’s are required to do the same.Once again you did not get the message i am trying to convey to you I am not saying Its always the woman’s fault sometimes men are to be blamed too.
Salam and much love for you!
[Edited for brevity – please keep comments shorter, thanks, Admin.
One last thing if the basic needs of a human are not being fulfilled by a Muslim husband like health care,education if the wife desires to further he qualifications then the Muslim man is at fault because he is not being a good Muslim as he is not following the teachings of the Quran and Sunnah of our dear Prophet pbuh.But you do not blame a Muslim Husband if you want the newest cars,phones,gadgets etc as now you are following the road of the Dunya.To be honest if one’s husband truly loves you infact he will want to keep you like a QUEEN and give you the things of this Dunya and pray that he has you next to him in Janah and now that is a true Muslim husband.
Once again all who blame Islam by seeing Muslims,you are wrong rather go to the Sources (Quran and Sunnah) and then make you opinions.These days most Muslims mix culture with Islam and call the mixture Islam but rather go to Authentic and i mean AUTHENTIC SOURCES and discover the real Islam.Usually the problems are culturally oriented rather than religiously oriented.
Salam
Hi Amira,
I just wanted to ask something. I started dating a Muslim guy, he said he is separated with his wife. But in Muslim marriage isn’t it that when you say separated you still live in the same house and you are still in the process of fixing things between your marriage. Meaning they still live as a couple? So is dating him makes me commit adultery?
I am temporarily closing the comments on this post. The discussion is getting a bit nasty. I will re-open comments under a few conditions – like being nice, respectful, non-preachy and short. Thanks. Admin
Comments are open again, keep to the conditions above please! Thanks. Admin
I would really like to speak to a christian woman married to a muslim man.
I understand the author of this article. I am a christian and I feel like the muslim guy I’m dating now is the perfect man for me. He is loving, intelligent and always puts me before himself. He waited 8 months before he asked me out because he didn’t want to ruin what we already had. When I did an internship overseas he travelled half way across the world to see me. He is simply everything I want in a guy.
My parents recently found out about him and got really really upset and told me I had to break it with him. And I did. It was the single hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. How can God give me something so good and take it away just like that? I keep wanting to talk to him and get back together with him but I’m not sure what God wants me to do. But I still feel like I did it for my parents and not for me.
We’ve talked about marraige and kids. We’ve always said we’ll respect each others faith (i.e not try to convert each other). But we don’t know how to answer the “kids” question.
He is a liberal muslim. He doesn’t like hijabs, burqas etc. Very pro-womens rights. And he’s got lots of christian friends. I always do feel very close to God when I’m with him. He says he likes that I go to church because it means I have “morals”.
I know it’ll be hard to make it work with him but isn’t the fact that he is so liberal a sign that we can make it work?? And his sister is married to a christian. And his mum used to be a christian.
I’m just wondering if marrying a muslim really does pull me apart from Jesus (which is something I never want to happen to me). Can’t we pray together? Aren’t we both praying to the God of Abraham?
I would like to hear from christian women who are married/dating or have married/dated a muslim man.
Mon, I’m not the Christian woman you are looking for. Even so, I think it is very telling that his mother was a Christian, but is now a Moslem. You need to remember that you don’t marry an individual in Islam, because the umma (Moslem community) is central to their way of life.
How is Jesus decribed in the NT? He is not called the son of Abraham. Have you talked to your (ex-) boyfriend about Jesus and that he is described as the Son of God and that He died on the cross in our place?
This is a very difficult road you are walking. I think it is exceptional that you respect your parents so much that you have obeyed them even though it has caused you heart sore. Don’t loose sight of Jesus. You are not in this alone. Remember his invitation: “Come to me, all who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” ( Mat 11:28-30). I will pray for you.
Hi Mon,
My heart responds in a bit of a panic when I read your story because you remind me of myself! I’d be happy to communicate with you privately – I think the admin of this website can give you my email address?
I will answer briefly here too, as you are likely not the only one in this situation…
I agree with Pieter, that you are wise to listen to your parents, even when your heart is telling you otherwise.
My (now) husband also claimed that his mother was a Christian at one point… I didn’t see that the past tense was an issue and learned later that it probably wasn’t true at all. She’s definitely a devout Muslim now.
When we met and dated, my husband was non-practicing… had never practiced (except as a child, I suspect) and is now fully committed to his Muslim faith. Marriage is a huge motivator to renew faith (this is true in other religions as well, but is almost mandated in Islam, from what I can see in my own marriage and those of friends around me).
I have prayed with and for my husband, but he will not tolerate me praying in Jesus’ name. With our daughter, we speak of “God” without mentioning Jesus – it breaks my heart that I can’t openly share my faith in words with my daughter. I’m “allowed” to go to church, but my daughter cannot. He has never offered to pray for or with me.
The two faiths are not compatible, even though historically they share some similarities, you can tell just from world events that there is conflict… dating all the way back to Isaac and Ishmael. Don’t be deceived. Take this inkling of doubt that you have about your relationship and know that it is the Holy Spirit, guiding you to Truth and Light.
Giving in to the attraction to this man would possibly give you short-term satisfaction, but so much more is at stake. Please pray continuously about this and then obey God. He wants the best for you, and wants to walk closely with you.
I’ll request that the admin send you my email address. But in the meantime, know that I’m praying for you!
Emily
Oh Mon,
This must be so hard for you. Still, my question to any woman in the same position would be: Will this relationship bring you closer to Jesus – or further from Him.
In my own relationship with an Arab, my first and foremost desire was to please the Living God. I could not bear to be separated from the Lord for an split-second (and yes, I do know how that feels – it feels like being in a dark, confusing vacuum, surely you don’t want this?). In my instance, it was much easier – the man the Lord sent me had followed many Muslim sects and had already come to the conclusion he could not base his life on Islam.
So, the question is, where is the man you love spiritually? What does He think about Jesus Christ? What does he really believe, in his heart? Is he prepared to search for answers, is he prepared to search for the Truth? Jesus said “I am the way, the truth and the life – no one comes to the Father but through me”. What would your friend say about this statement?
It’s not about religion – it’s about a living, breathing relationship with the Living God.
Commit yourself and this relationship to the Lord, totally, abandon yourself to His grace and mercy and He will perform the most amazing miracles. Do you realize that by not sticking to your convictions, you might be leading your friend to think the spiritual world does not matter, hampering his spiritual walk? What if this man’s future in eternity is at stake here, more than just a love story?
Oh, sorry, Mon, I replied to Emily’s response by mistake – it’s meant for you, dated today.
It is possible that what this man loves more than anything, is God’s Spirit within you. If so, there is a lot at stake. This might not be a simple love story.
Your love will not be enough to satisfy him in the long run. Only the Spirit of the Living God can truly satisfy the human soul.
In my own story, the drama unfolded over a fierce debate about God and Jesus. As I stuck to my testimony, the relationship turned to one of respect and then, a simple, pure love. I was told I was his “first love” – that is who Jesus is… our First Love. I was told I was his “first true love”. That’s Jesus love! I was told this was the first time he’d known “pure love”. These are all attributes of Jesus and the Holy Spirit, I can’t take His glory. These qualities that made him love me were not mine – they were given to me by the Lord!
Similarly, try to look at this relationship from an eternal, spiritual view point. The best gift you can ever give this man, if you love him, is Jesus! It may transform his life, regardless of whether he leaves or stays.
I pray God will do something really special in both your hearts.
Dear Mon,
Your post and your description about your boyfriend is like its my own words. I can say exactly the same things about my boyfriend. He is liberal, he never practises, he drinks alcohol and says that he will never ask me to convert. He is romantic and always behaves great towards him. He finds it good that I am a religious person. Is this an indication? Their background is religious even if they don’t practice. They have morals, they do serious relationships and they want to get married. We liked that, they treat us nice and we want a man like him forever. Is this enough though? I am in the same situation like you are.. I love him and I feel I will never meet anyone like him. I had never felt so loved before him. However, I don’t think we can rely our lives on this human love. What about God’s love? I feel l betrayed Him. I want to confess I dated a non-believer and I am asking for God’s forgiveness. I hope you feel the same… Because I don’t know where your boyfriend is from, but a lot of women have had trouble because of muslims, who showed another face after marriage. Think of the consequences, such as the civil marriage, the raise of your children or the possibility that he will not allow you to practice after you get married. What if he is lying right now to marry you? The most important you have to think is your kids. Do you want them to be raised as muslims? Their mother will teach them that Jesus is the Son of God who was crossified and risen and their father that Jesus is just a prophete and was never crossified? And who do you think will be stronger in persuading them? What if something happens to you and you cannot teach them the Christian belief? My boyfriend seems to be the perfect father and husband and maybe it is unfair to think that he will become like this in the future, however I think this is God’s test to see if we will choose Him or our boyfriends, if we will choose this temporary happiness or the salvation for an eternity…
Helen, you are very wise.
By some strange coincidence, a notification about your comment came through to my email, just as I posted a response to your post earlier today.
Eternity is main issue, you’re 100% correct! And not only eternal salvation for us, but for the men we love. How can we convince them of the need to focus on our eternal destinies, if we do not stick to our convictions?
But we do need to highlight the fact that this is not a chess-game about whose religion wins, but about finding and holding onto the absolute, ultimate truth about God and eternity. This means sharing: sharing the fears, the tears, the love but also, our testimonies, our hopes for them and our conviction of the assurance of a transformed, renewed mind, and an eternity spent in God’s kingdom.
Helen and Hope
It’s really good to hear from someone who has been through it. I sometimes think maybe the reason I dated him was because I was rebelling in some way against God. But I don’t think so because I’m still very close to God’s heart. I’m getting through it all because God is with me and has never left me.
I think people (especially christians) tend to TELL you what you’re doing wrong rather than GUIDE you in the right path. It often irritates me when muslims are stereotyped – I feel like I need to stand up for them because I found the best man on earth in a muslim. I still don’t know if breaking up with him was the right thing to do. But my decision is made easier because it upsets my parents deeply and I can’t stand to see them cry. But I pray every day that he can get to know Jesus for who He is rather than because of me. It does no good to my heart, but I still have hope.
After 4 weeks of absolute torture, tears and heartache I’ve come to this conclusion – Every muslim is different (just like every christian is different) and you can find men who are absolute treasure in either religion (although I am yet to find a christian one). But 2 things get in the way:
1) Life – which includes decisions about children, relationship with parents, attendance at church etc. gets in the way. And at the end you just end up frustrated with each other.
2) Faith – I think its possible to stay and grow in your faith. But although your faith may be TOLERATED by your husband, it won’t be LOVED by him.
Oh, my heart goes out to you. May the Lord comfort you both. And, may He touch the heart of the man you love, give him the best gift ever: Salvation and Eternal Life. Don’t ever give up praying for him, Mon.
You’re so right, God has given you deep insight and much wisdom.
Also, life happens! My first marriage was a cross-cultural one and due to my then husband’s sad experience with Apartheid, it ended up being 20 years of emotional torture for me (I’m Greek, he was Chinese). And the sad thing was, we were both serving the Lord, even involved in outreaches. So, marrying a Christian is truly no guarantee of happiness – unless he is actively seeking to die to self and be teachable – and that goes for any man. Being in love is no guarantee things will not turn sour one day. (Because of that, I’d planned to remain single the rest of my life but God had some surprising plans in store).
So it’s critical to walk in the centre of God’s will – only He knows the future.
I pray for MIRACLES for you both!!!!
I’m christian and I’m dating a muslim guy. I asked him to change otherwise he will lose me. In 28 days he did 15 days of fasting and others day not because I asked to him to stop when we are together. And when he was fasting we kissed as normal relationship. It’s not easy. But if they want they can change. His way to Jesus is long. I’m still with him because there are a lot of small signs toward christianity. Otherwise I can’t share my life with a muslim. It’s too hard and difficult and I follow Jesus command’s. I will do whatever I can for him but if i will notice something wrong I’ll go away. There is much more than a relationship.. i don’t want to spoil my path in Jesus.
If anyone wants some tips I can help you. We need to support each others.
No offense sister but really you do not judge a religion by its followers but get to the source.If we were to see all christian women engage in sexual relations before marriage and that does not label all christian women to be easy because there are many whom i know save themselves for their husbands.The same goes for Muslims you need to stop stereo typing Muslims.Do you even know that Islam has given many rights to Muslim women in the 1400′s wayyyyy before the western women got they rights.
Lastly there is no compulsion in Islam why do you as Christians say my way or the high way?I pray the my Muslim brother chooses Islam over you since he would ruin his life by turning away from the truth which is Islam.If he is a true Muslim man you would be lucky to have him as your husband since Our beloved Prophet saw was an excellent husband who said women are as delicate as glass and they should be handled with the most care or they will break.
So stop being misguided and misguiding the poor brother in Islam.If he is a true Muslim you will be well taken care of.Those Muslim men who mistreat their women are not true believers&there are bad men amongst the Christians too.Just look at news how a father has sexual relations with his own daughters i forgot the country but he is Christian and it is in a European country.Does this mean you are still safe marrying a Christian man because all Christian men incest and lock up their very own daughters as their sexual objects?…..Well i don’t think so since not all Christian men are crazy.So the same logic goes for Muslim men as well.Please use your common sense&logic not some picture painted
&fed to you by the media.
Salam(Peace)
Mon – I really appreciate you sharing. I am in the same situation right now. Just broke up with my liberal muslim boyfriend (I’m catholic). Despite our different backgrounds, we are great together and I love and respect him more than anyone i’ve ever met. He is about to start med school and I am just beginning my career in sales. We broke up because things are getting complicated with his family (not that my family was ever that keen on our relationship in the first place – tho after their initial concerns, they do love him!). I still do not know what the future holds for us. We are both still very in love and this is the hardest thing either of us has ever had to go through.
Hope – what you said has really struck a chord with me. “It is possible that what this man loves more than anything, is God’s Spirit within you.” – This is exactly how I feel. We have both discussed how he wishes he could be more open with his family and that his “family” for most of his life has been his friends that he grew up with (who are all Christian for the most part). He has a very strained relationship with his parents to the point that they do not know about much of his life with his friends or me for that matter. They love each other, but it is not the kind of close love that he sees in my family. I always pray for him that he can find the love that I have that comes from having a family so close to Jesus. A huge part of me feels like we should be together so that I can show him what this love is like. Though I am far from a perfect Catholic, I know that it is God’s love and the Holy Spirit that drive my actions.
During our relationship, I researched and read a lot about Islam. The best book that I read was called “The Faith Club”. It’s about 3 different mothers from New York whose kids all attend the same school. One is a Muslim, one a Christian, and on a Jew. It was a great book that highlighted some fundamental differences and similarities between all 3…
(cont.)
I paid particular attention to the Muslim mother – she was warm, open, and loving as my own mother is. She also had her own relationship with God that was different than my own but still wonderful. She had an inner peace through her religion that I hope my (ex) boyfriend may be able to find in time. If you haven’t had a chance to read this, I would highly recommend it.
I know couples in interfaith relationships have countless obstacles to overcome, but does anyone know of any instances where a Muslim-Christian couple has overcome these challenges and succeeded? And grown in their relationship with each other and with God? Like I said, my Muslim boyfriend and I have broken up, but no Muslim is the same as no Christian is the same, and no one’s path to God is the same. All I know is in my case, I was able to get closer to God and so was my boyfriend, just in different ways.
Hi dear Megan,
I wish I had some “feel good” stuff to write to you, so you would not think me harsh!
However, I personally, don’t believe it’s possible to overcome these obstacles except in the spirit realm – they are likely to remain a life-long heartache, EXCEPT for the intervention of the Holy Spirit. Jesus said “I am the Way, the Truth and the Life” . It is HIM we follow, not a religion.
Jesus either meant those words and they are truth, or He was a liar and a fraud. We either have a living relationship with the living God, or we don’t. “Religion” is not enough.
However, (and excuse the pun) the good news is… I have found some video testimonies on the internet, about Muslims who had supernatural encounters with Jesus Christ through dreams or visions and came to know who He really is (and ended up in RELATIONSHIP with Him).
That is the key… the supernatural realm, the encounter with a living God. Everything else, including human love-relationships, pale into insignificance by comparison. That is what Jesus offered up His life to achieve. And He overcame death, so that we may have life and have it more abundantly… all of us who have come from the shadows of this life, Muslim, Christian, all people.
Strength and courage to you dear Megan, may God be glorified in your testimony one day.
Hello again..
You probably remember my story, I am Christian Orthodox and I dated a Muslim guy. I broke up with him, but we are still in touch, even though we don’t meet coz we are in different countries. He proposed to me and I said I cannot marry him, but he is not giving up on me. I don’t know what to do. I confessed to my priest that I dated a non-believer and he advised me to stop contacting him and that I have nothing in common with him. However, I love him so much that it is so hard for me to move on and forget him. I pray to God to give him a sign…
My (ex) boyfriend told me he is reconsidering his religion and he admitted he hasn’t found the truth in his religion and in any religion, he just thinks Islam is the best and that’s why he is following it, but not that Islam is the truth. I don’t know if he is lying to me in order to get me back or not. The truth is his approach makes me hope that he may convert one day. Most of all, I want him to convert for himself and not for me or for us. I want him to find the truth. I advised him to start reading about Christianity if he really wants to find the truth, but so far, he hasn’t searched anything. On the other hand, the more I read about Islam, the more I think this religion is full of lies and I wonder how it is possible that it has so many followers around the world.
I don’t know what to do…I just keep praying that God will help me take the right decision for my soul, either leave my (ex) boyfriend or help him discover Jesus Christ.
Hi dear Helen,
Your last words say it all…I agree with you, and, to make it easier on you, may your boyfriend either leave YOU or meet up with Jesus Christ. May the Lord, grant this request, in Jesus’ name.
Ultimately, pitting one religion against another proves nothing. Because true Christianity is based on a living, breathing relationship with our Creator. That’s what has always has made the difference, that’s what has convicted people to accept Jesus, the miraculous, be it internal or external. Christianity without the miraculous, without God’s Spirit moving in our lives in a powerful way, becomes just another set of rules.
So let’s join in prayer for this guy that you love, that he will come to know the truth, and that the truth will set him free. Nothing is impossible with God.
But, as the Word says, do not yoke UNEQUALLY with someone who does not share your faith. So, where does the balance of power lie? If you married him, would he live in your society, pop into a worship service with you, etc? Or would you move to HIS country and be surrounded and outnumbered by people who oppose your faith in Christ? In that case, you’d be in great spiritual danger.
A lot is at stake. May the Lord, through His Spirit, lead you.
“On the other hand, the more I read about Islam, the more I think this religion is full of lies and I wonder how it is possible that it has so many followers around the world.”
Dear Helen,
Look to your boyfriend for the truth. He knows whats best because you have failed in converting him from being a Muslim to a Christian.
And as far as your poor thinking of Islam being full of lies every time you read about Islam, I suggest you read from the source of Islamic knowledge. Forget about the internet or unknown authors who want to pollute people’s mind by writing totally untrue things about Islam.
To answer your confusion about why Islam has so many followers around the world, it is only because it is the true successor to Prophet Jesus a.s sayings and teachings about ONE TRUE GOD , the CREATOR as shown and practiced by the Islamic Prophet Muhammad S.A.W upon instructions and guidance from the almighty.
1.What else could be the reason that Islam has so many followers?
2.If it was full of lies as you think wouldn’t Islam have been wiped out till today and all humans would be christian as all living christians today would love it to be??
Think dear helen, and pray TO GOD almighty so that he can help “DISCOVER” what the truth is.
Regards
Dear Fazal,
Why you Muslims keep emphasizing on ONE GOD all the time? Christianity is based on the concept of the existence of ONE GOD and Islam adopted this concept after Christianity (of course with the appropriate changes). Christians believe in ONE GOD who is Almighty and as a result is able to appear in three different forms.
Secondly, according to my opinion, Islam is just a heresy of Christianity, as Islam has just changed everything Jesus left us as a heritage. It leaves a lot of questions and mysteries without an answer, whereas in Christianity everything has an explanation.
Thirdly, I didn’t want to offend Muslims as I respect their religion very much and I do know why there are so many followers. Because Islam shows a scary image of God, it teaches punishments to sins and people have no alternative rather than obeying. Whereas in Christianity God loves humans even if they are sinners.
As far as your argument that Mohammed is the prophet to whom the true God was shown, I simply cannot believe that God can appear to sinners especially to give them messages for people. Mohammed was a man who slept with so many women -a little girl among them- and had fantasies about women, I deny to believe God appeared through Gabriel to such a person. I deny to believe God allows polygamy and death penalty, as these terms do not co-exist with the true and fair God who created Adam and Eve to be one body (and not Adam, Eve and an another woman) and who is the only one to judge people for their sins and decide when to take their lives. And yes, the Quran contains lies, such as that the earth is flat or that crucifixion was a means of punishment in ancient Egypt, however Muslims have tried to cover them by using a different interpretation.
Last, I didn’t fail to convert my boyfriend as I simply didn’t try. I talked to him about the glory of Christianity and the meaning of incarnation of God as Jesus Christ who sacrificed in order to save people through His…
(cont.)
….Resurrection but I never forced him or asked him to convert. The same way as he talked to me about Islam and what it teaches.
May Jesus Christ, the Son of God help all Muslims find the truth.
Helen, that’s really deep and sincere, it’s a privilege to read you and see the depth you’re operating at. You’re on the right track, don’t be discouraged, and this is a time of miracles. I pray the Lord will be glorified through your life and witness!
“Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and everything will be added unto you!” And so be it in your life, may the blessings that will overtake you simply astound you!
Hi dear Fazal,
We are all born into a religion and culture, and we all start off by believing what we are taught as young children.
There comes a time when each of us have to make a life decision about following God (or following a religion, which is another matter altogether).
So, while we may not agree with your opinions and beliefs, I commend you for your closing words.
To pray TO GOD to reveal to us THE TRUTH!
Each of us needs to pray, individually, TO GOD, the only one who can show us the truth. Each man and woman has to come to that place where it’s just them and God. “And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free”.
Take care.
Dear Hope,
Your reply is really encouraging in the difficult situation I am standing right now.. I am praying that God will show me the right path… Thank you so much.
Dearest Helen,
You’re already on the right path!
Oh, may the Lord grant you your miracle! Never give up, this is a time when the Lord Himself is drawing his beloved Muslim people into his fold, some in spectacular ways.
The Lord said that whatsoever we asked in prayer, BELIEVING, we shall receive. (Matthew 21:22).
One of my Muslim friends recently dreamt she was diving for coins, in the sea. Under water, she saw this golden cross, fixed to the ocean floor. It somehow touched her heart.
So many amazing things are happening, with God NOTHING is impossible. Fix your eyes on Him, He shall bless you beyond your wildest dreams (as He is doing in my life).
What a wonderful, loving God we serve!
Dear Helen,
As i can see you’ve replied quite emotionally, the regular christian way.
Infact you have no idea about christianity or it’s history itself. Your misunderstanding of god appearing in 3 forms was a human concept created by the romans in order to save christianity which was accused of killing innocent women and men who questioned the abuse of the church and out of countless wars christians imposed on others along with the regular dose of forced conversions!
Please read up on history dear, & then try and think and give a reply. I pity someone who talks
without a proper understanding.
p.s : As far as you deny to believe in what Gods word is you will remain in ignorance as you are now. It is Gods choice to appear or not to a sinner or a believer right? If not why would jesus the saviour or gods son or mary’s child or the holy spirit or the convienient scapegoat for the Pope to mislead the world or whatever appear mysteriously to SINNERS who talk of “surprising encounters in the bed” with Jesus christ at night, and then follow it up by the conversion story.
Also if the bible is true and does not contain lies, which you think the quran does, where or where is the original true bible? Holy grail in Hebrew which is guarded by ruffians in africa? Every year new editions, new languages, And then you christians talk of preserving gods word. Truth is the bible is full of lies as the church has convieniently altered many verses over the ages rendering it to be the guide for people without reasoning.
Hey dear Fazal,
Wow, this information is so confusing. It fascinates me to see the stories and “research” results doing the rounds in religious circles.
I agree, some of the Christian “information” you’ve given (and have received from others) would be enough to give anyone the creeps.
And I’ve heard the same kind of thing about your religion… stuff that makes my hair stand on end.
At the end of the day, in both religions, there are cults and sects and crimes and so on.
Therefore, each one of us humans has to establish a relationship with the living God, the Creator, who is able to guide us into truth personally.
Otherwise we’ll spend our days playing religious chess, at which the one that has studied the most opening and closing moves will win… not necessarily the one with the truth. In fact, in chess, there is no such thing as “truth”, it’s not relevant. The same thing with religious arguments… the TRUTH doesn’t feature much, only 2nd hand information (let’s face it, you and I weren’t around 100 years ago or were eye-witnesses to the stuff we recite). And the most informed, or the most brilliant scholar wins.
What then, happens to the truth? Does anyone stop to check with the living God?
I think you and I need to guide people to the truth, as you suggested earlier, by praying to the only wise and living God. He is not deaf or dumb… He who created everything is quite capable of communicating His truth, His direction, His desire to each and every human on the planet.
If He is NOT able to communicate with His created beings, in our day, and guide us to ALL truth, on a personal level, what kind of a God is He? What do you think?
Look after yourself.
Dear Fazal,
First of all, God has every power, in that case He can appear in whatever form He likes. His 3 forms is not a human creation, as Jesus is a historical person and his crucifixion and resurrection are also proven historically. In Christianity, everything was public, nothing was in secret.
In addition, it’s a common argument of Muslims that the Bible has a lot of books, whereas the Quran is only one and it never changed from the beginning. Is this a serious argument? For me it means nothing that nobody changed the Quran as it is a mistake from the beginning and from the way it was conceived. On the other hand, it is common knowledge that when a historical fact occurs a lot of people may write it down. The same happened with the life of Jesus. A lot of people met Him, lived with Him and wrote down His words and His miracles. His crucifixion and His appearances after He was risen, happened in public, as a result more than one person wrote about them. The Holy Fathers just chose these books who best revealed the Lord’s image. Indeed, each of the Holy Gospels shows a different aspect of Jesus Christ and all the four coexist harmoniously. Is it an argument that the Bible is false because there are more than one books? Of course not, as this makes Christ’s life more objective!
On the other hand, 700 years later a man out of the blue talked about Jesus and said that it wasn’t him who was crucified and other lies, whereas all these had happened in public!! Even the natural phenomena which happened when Jesus Christ died on the cross are historically proven.
Also, I didn’t say God doesn’t appear to sinners, I said He doesn’t appear in order to give messages for other people. He has appeared to sinners in order to save them, but only pure people were chosen as God’s representatives and prophetes.
As far as the other editions of the Bible, the fact that they exist doesn’t mean the Christian Church accepts them as original, the same way as it…
…. didn’t accept the Quran as the words of God.
If all Muslims understand that several spirits can appear to a person and present themselves as God, it doesn’t mean that it truly is God, then your religion will stop existing. Coz apart from Mohammed’s statement, there is no basis that the Quran is the word of God.
Indeed, why don’t you ask yourselves, why Mohammed was not sure that it was Gabriel who appeared and it was God’s words that Gabriel revealed and it was his wife to convince him to present it as God?? Whereas in Christianity all people who saw Jesus or Gabriel believed, only Zechariah did not believe and God presented a miracle. Why God didn’t present any miracle in Mohammed’s case?
Maybe it’s you who should search and understand….If you are allowed though. Coz Mohammed doesn’t want you to raise questions, whereas Jesus Christ encourage people to search and they will find the truth.
May God lead you to the real path.
Yes, good point about the eye-witness accounts – and much is also verified historically from ancient historians (non-Christian), which corroborates the eye-witness accounts of the early Christians in the New Testament.
The other interesting thing about the Bible as a whole is the fact that the events of the Old Testament depict the Bible heroes with all their faults and flaws, exposes their sins and their repentance quite objectively. It hides nothing, does not try to “beautify” the information… it is chillingly honest. Like court records. This has always fascinated me.
But few people will have the guts to go into it, unless they are really searching. There is a lot of fear… fear of being misled.
For anyone reading this, I’d like to share my story briefly:
I was raised a Greek Orthodox, following my religion faithfully until I became an adult. Then I developed and insatiable hunger and thirst for “more”. Something was missing in my life, which my religion did not satisfy.
I ended up entering the realm of esoteric Chinese Martial Arts, in which I learnt to harness and project energy or “soul power”. This was not enough. I studied a bit of Japanese Aikido, which taught me many secrets of harnessing more of this power. It is a power a lot of motivational speakers use (some great preachers in all religions and some powerful politicians use the same techniques – and they work… however, there are a lot of dangers and can lead to mental instability if one abuses these secret methods).
From there, I ended up in the spirituality of the New Age movement and, still believing I was a “Christian”, became involved in practicing TherapeuticTouch (it works but is NOT scientific as some medical journals suggest… it is spiritual in nature).
It was only a personal encounter with the living God, one dark night, that opened a window to the truth to me. It’s a long story but the end result was a thirst for the ultimate truth. It was a…
im lookin for advice….
i am a christian but do not attend church and havent done for years, i do believe in god and jesus.
5 years ago i meet a muslim man that i went to school with, now we have 2 children but are not married and his family have only know about us for a year, we always talked about getting married but i always said although i would like too i would not convert because of my family and i didnt think it was fair on them…. a few weeks ago my ex partner left me, he said it was because of our different cultures… recently we have been talking about getting married and me converting, i love him with all my heart and i know he loves me i jus need some advice from somebody who actullay knows what they are talking about…
My heart goes out to you.
Please be careful. He loves you but he left you?… Because of your cultural differences? What kind of love is that?
Yes, he possibly does love you, but manipulative love is not healthy. Basically, it seems that he’s putting pressure on you, to force you to “convert”. Love should be UNCONDITIONAL.
Please tread carefully. Your eternal destiny and that of your children’s (and their dad’s) is hanging in the balance. Do you want to deny Christ, who died to give you salvation and eternal life?
God loves you so much, that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believes on Him (that’s you) shall have EVERLASTING LIFE.
The Lord is faithful, He will look after you and the children. Don’t give in to emotional blackmail, please, my dear sister. If the father of your children loves you and the children, he’ll do the right thing and stand by your side, putting God and justice first and religion second.
Trust the Lord to soften his heart, and I pray you will be strengthened and encouraged to stand for your eternal destiny, which is guaranteed by Jesus Christ “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live.”
Sending love, and a hug… Be strong, be courageous, God will help you.
Actually I feel sorry for him. He has given up love for you because of what his family thinks, how stupid on his part. I have been married to a muslim man now for 19 years and I have not converted and its never been an issue. Actually my family has never excepted him and you know what your doing the exact same thing he’s doing. Islam has always been a very accepting religion.
And for you, you should feel used. You have 2 children with him and he has no respect to stay with you. He’s is being stupid. Islam says you should take responsiblilty for what you do, but in this day and age why the children…birth control is out there.
If you ask me his family isn’t being very religous if they don’t except you for you! and yes I have been back home with him to meet his family. That was how I knew just how much he loves me for me.
Dear Hope,
Thank you again for encouraging me. I would like to share with you my biggest fear. As far as I have understood from the Bible (I may be wrong) Jesus chose his students and He told them that not all people are able to see and believe (I don’t remember the chapter, I am sorry).
My fear is that I am praying to God to give a sign to the man I love, but what if my boyfriend is not blessed with this privilege? This way of thinking may be completely wrong, however it’s in my mind… I hope you understand what I mean…
Helen, I see what you mean, but these verses come to mind:
1. 1 John 5:14-15
“And this is the confidence we have in Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, WE KNOW THAT WE HAVE THE PETITION THAT WE DESIRED OF HIM.”
2. 1 Timothy 2:3-4
For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Saviour; WHO WILL HAVE ALL MEN TO BE SAVED, AND TO COME UNTO THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE TRUTH.
So in my opinion, it’s safe to assume that it’s God’s will for ALL people to come to salvation in Christ… so that, if you pray in God’s will, you will have your petition.
But you have to also know what the Lord is telling you, personally. Once the Lord has shown you what to pray for, do not doubt or waver, but head steadfastly towards what God is showing you and exercise your faith.
However, be prepared for opposition, many tears and for your patience to be tested beyond its limits. Miracles happen, but often, the one asking for the miracle has already become discouraged and has given up. How long are you prepared to wait and pray for?
At the end of the day, in John 10:10 the Lord Jesus said: “The thief comes not but to steal, kill and destroy but I have come that you MAY HAVE LIFE, AND HAVE IT MORE ABUNDANTLY!”
One way or another, I wish you abundant life!
Dear Hope,
You really are Hope! Your help to my misunderstanding is countless. Thank you very much. You are so right that God wants all people to believe and be saved, this is the reason why He came to earth as a human. You know made me obvious that if I love this man I should pray and God will offer him a miracle. I love him very much and I think I have a lot of patience for this…
You are also right that it’s a gift that I know what I am praying for and that I recognize God’s glory in giving us what we are asking for. I will not give up on that.
May Christ give you health and happiness through His path.
Helen, you are in a difficult situation. And without knowing other details, it can be hard to offer advice that is going to make a difference. I’d guess that the father of your children is a nominal believer, which is where the challenge really lies. Pray for his hunger for the truth to become too much for him to deny. Personally, I think finding bridges between Islam and the teachings of Christ is the best route to take. You would be surprised by the similarities that the Qur’an and the Bible share. Instead of attacking his faith, find that common ground. There is much confusion on either side. There are plenty of references that would support that thinking that not all are able to see. But we are also told to ask and it will be given. Doesn’t always mean in our time, but in His perfect time. Without a doubt God (or Allah, as your partner would most likely feel more comfortable with) wants all to hear His voice and receive His grace. I think one of the hardest parts for you now is having to live with the consequences of your choices. Cling to God, confess your sins and soak up His grace and mercy.
Marriage should be based on love.so, how do u love someone who is not of ur religious convinction? Sorrow,misery is usually the outcome of such wedding.
Hi, welcome!
There are many types of love. Sometimes love is a choice to do the right thing, not an emotion,so, in a way, you are right.
But we hear of people “falling in love”. Have you ever experienced this? Meeting someone who is so significant to you, that you feel the sun would be dark without their company? Not necessarily a physical love but a strong soul-connection? It’s such a powerful bond that breaking it can cause deep scarring.
Yet, inevitably, if our relationship with God doesn’t come first, even such a love will turn into a painful experience eventually, as you suggest.
Nevertheless, we have to stand by people in this predicament, support them and encourage them, as these decisions to part based on one’s convictions, are really heart-breaking.
Greetings!
My dear Christian brothers and sisters, I am delighted to say I will be marrying the love of my life… His name is Akbar. I am so happy i made the right decision after so many months.
I truly believe that I will still find Jesus Christ because I believe in him, regardless of what others say.
I’m an RC and have no hangups on these issues.
Peace and good tidings to all !!
Yours lovingly,
Christina
Hi dear Christina,
Dear, you have to be 100% certain that you are in God’s perfect will. A 1% difference could be disastrous.
If you have a close relationship with the Lord, and you are 100% certain of the way forward, it is well. If you don’t have a close relationship with the Lord, and can’t hear His voice in your heart clearly, it might be better to sort out that relationship first, don’t you think? He is a loving God who, like a good father, will want only the best for you.
If you have the slightest hesitation, do remember the Lord said “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and everything else will be added unto you.” So don’t hesitate to ask the Lord for wisdom, He will give it to you in abundance, as He has promised in His word.
Please, do make sure you are in the Lord’s will, for Akbar’s sake as well as for yours. Your eternal destiny – and his – could hang on the depth of your convictions.
All the best,
Hope
My only message to women in a position of marrying a muslim is:
Don’t compromise your christian faith. By marrying in a mosque you will be denying Christ it will not be a covenant with The Lord and you will be unequally yoked and in disobedience, it will be YOUR CHOICE AND NOT CHRIST’S. I cannot stress this enough.. because you are my sister in Christ. I can only encourage you to read God’s word and ask for His wisdom. His people perish through lack of knowledge (Hosea 4;6) it is to our advantage to grow in knowledge and grace of our Lord Jesus Christ.(2 Peter 3;18.
God Bless you.
….cont Christina the above post was in reply to you. put your name instead, my mistake.
“People change. The man I married was not serious about his faith, but about a year into marriage, he was suddenly praying 5 times a day and needed to abide by the (MANY) rules of Islam (including no kissing during Ramadan – as long as the sun was up!!).”
So what if he became more religious? Islam does not have any irrationally binding rules. Also, if you were to add the total amount of time a Muslim prays every day, it would amount to a maximum of 35 minutes. Add this to the fact that there are 5 different prayer times. Also, sexual activity is permitted on the nights of the fasts, so I don’t see what your objection is.
“In some ways, there is no such thing as “the individual” in Islam. Everyone is part of a family, a people group, and/or a community. Decisions are made as groups, not individuals and pressure is put on by families. Families have an extremely strong influence on their children – even from across the ocean!!”
“Everyone is part of a family” you have a problem with this? That’s quite unnatural. As for families pressuring their children, this is something cultural, not religious.
“Once married, the man is in charge and expects to always have his way, in everything.
In Islam, it is okay for a man to marry a Christian woman because it is expected that he will convert her (and be blessed with many virgins in paradise as a result!! – I can’t find the reference for this… but I’m sure there is a reference in the Qu’ran – if you can’t find it, feel free to delete it) – she may not be allowed to practice her own faith.”
Wow. This statement was pure bigotry and lies. People are promised 72 spouses if they DIE AS MARTYRS. For example, if a woman was being raped and if I was killed trying to stop her attacker, God would reward me. According to Matthew 17:29, something similar is promised, i.e. a hundredfold times the # of wives. Christian women ARE allowed to practice their faith, liar.
Achtiname of Muhammad:
“This is a…
message from Muhammad ibn Abdullah, as a covenant to those who adopt Christianity, near and far, we are with them. Verily I, the servants, the helpers, and my followers defend them, because Christians are my citizens; and by Allah! I hold out against anything that displeases them. No compulsion is to be on them. Neither are their judges to be removed from their jobs nor their monks from their monasteries. No one is to destroy a house of their religion, to damage it, or to carry anything from it to the Muslims’ houses. Should anyone take any of these, he would spoil God’s covenant and disobey His Prophet. Verily, they are my allies and have my secure charter against all that they hate. No one is to force them to travel or to oblige them to fight. The Muslims are to fight for them. IF A FEMALE CHRISTIAN IS MARRIED TO A MUSLIM, IT IS NOT TO TAKE PLACE WITHOUT HER APPROVAL. SHE IS NOT TO BE PREVENTED FROM VISITING HER CHURCH TO PRAY. Their churches are to be respected. They are neither to be prevented from repairing them nor the sacredness of their covenants. No one of the nation (Muslims) is to disobey the covenant till the Last Day (end of the world).”
“Things get extremely complicated and hard when children are in the picture. Circumcision or not? Baby dedication or not? Go to church or mosque? Explaining to a young, confused child why daddy doesn’t believe in Jesus the same way that we do.”
Islam doesn’t say much about this topic, but children should be allowed to decide for themselves. What’s so bad about circumcision? Jesus, alayhi’ salaam, was circumcised.
Breaking up a dating relationship is very painful and hard to do… but marrying a Muslim will lead to a lifetime of heartache. Marriage is not to be taken lightly – it is covenant between you and God. It is not meant to be trial and error, as our western society often suggests.
“Breaking up a dating relationship is very painful and hard to do… but marrying a Muslim will lead to a lifetime of heartache. Marriage is not to be taken lightly – it is covenant between you and God. It is not meant to be trial and error, as our western society often suggests.”
“marrying a Muslim will lead to a lifetime of heartache” Wow. I love being stereotyped. It just goes to show what this site is all about: spreading misconceptions about Islam.
Hi SKhan,
You sound like a very noble and thoughtful person.
Unfortunately, you are in the minority. And the fact is, there are many men, regardless off their religion, who have a tendency to become emotionally abusive (I should know, I was in an emotionally abusive marriage for over 20 years, married to a nice man who had an awful temper in private. He was such a sweet guy that no one would ever have believed me had I dared to expose his private tirades against me… And we shared the same “religion”. Can you imagine, what would have happened if there had been a conflict of belief, as well?)
But there’s more to it than this. The woman is “the weaker vessel” as the Bible puts it, and therefore should be treated with honour and respect by her husband. But it stands to reason that the balance of power will be against her – and it will take a very strong man to avoid the temptation of yielding to his community and not putting pressure on her to convert to HIS faith.
And there’s more… a Christian woman, one who has been born again of the spirit, is a citizen of a different nation. She is no longer a part of normal society and is a stranger and alien in this world. Her loyalties are in another kingdom, an unseen one.
Obviously, this will create some heavy burdens for both parties in a mixed-faith marriage. In any case, she would be going against her own spirit in marrying outside of her faith, unless God had specifically shown her a particular path and its outcome (and God has a tendency to do what he likes, if we look at the story of Hosea).
So it’s a very complex situation, far more is at stake than opposing arguments in which it becomes a battle of wits over verses and theories. It’s a spiritual issue.
And thank you for sharing your thoughts with us Christians, it’s good to hear your opinions and thank you for being sweet and showing such a kind nature.
Hope
SKhan
I have been married 24 years to a muslim man, he didn’t practice islam when i met him and i was a christian by name only. I met Jesus 13 years ago, he was always expecting me to convert but only told me when i became a christian. On this day my eyes were opened, i struggled to go to church, had to hide my Bible because if i didn’t he would destroy it. Couldn’t talk to my child about christianity, couldn’t have christian friends over to my house.. not even after the birth of our child. Was totally ignored for a month because i denied his request to marry in a mosque… My child had to go to Coranic school and be a muslim. In other words i had no rights whatsoever i felt really opressed.
I knew i had made a huge mistake having a lack of knowledge at the time. A Muslim/ christian marriage is a huge spiritual struggle and i don’t advise it to christians or muslims, God has to come before everything even the ones we love, disobedience only brings heartache in the end. Many muslim men do marry christian women, however i am one who embraced christianity in the marriage and not islam.
Sorry…some of us out there don’t agree. My marriage has lasted 19 years with my muslim husband. I have neither converted nor said I would. Yes I was married by an Imam, In my own religion my marriage is not recognised but I don’t really care.T tell you the truth I have nothing to hide from God as he knows all. Too many people want to bud into my marriage. We laugh when other muslim people try to bud into our marriage about children issues, converting, and about the speaking arabic thing. I’m not afraid . I come right out and tell them to mind their own busines. Also say “You are not perfect, so why preach to me.” And I don’t believe he would have destroyed your bible, just like you would not destroy his Quran.
I am not oppressed. We have 2 children together. And during ramadan is kinda funny. We play up on the fact of his fasting. Its only once a year and our children have the choice to fast. I respect his way and does he mine. And he is not afraid of what his family thinks. He has taken me back home with him to meet the family. It was very important for our children to see where they come from.
I actually feel sorry for both of you that you couldn’t work together to stay together. I happen to know quite a few couples just like us, from different cultures and religions but we are committed to make it work. Love does conquer all. You just have to believe it will.
Thats where you failed.
I am constantly finding things out, reading different aspects of religion…hell thats why I’m actually here right now, on this website , making my comments, because i was curious as what people think and how people are with different religions having relationships.
So sorry for your misfortune. but everyone has choices.
Anne
‘in my own religion my marriage is not recognised but i don’t really carë”.
Do you not care about disobeying God or what His Word says?It appears to me like you are only wanting to please your husband.
I refuse to have a blessing of an imam on my marriage, after seeking God on that decision he did tell me a definete “NO”. God’s house is His church and by seeking the blessing of an Imman in a mosque you have submitted your marriage unto Islam and not unto our Lord. This is disobedience! And……….. you don’t care? You will never find a muslim seeking the blessing of God on their marriage in a church… Why? You don’t believe he would have destroyed my Bible, why would i lie? I am giving my personal experience, some have positive and others negative, but i believe when you choose for God you will get opposition…. not only in this case but in others to. When i havn’t submitted to his requests and put God first he did feel rejected and hurt , which led to anger at my choices. Putting God first is my priority and that always comes at a price and is not always easy..
Did i say we were not together, i have not failed as you presumed. I believe in marriage and i am still with him despite his opposition to my faith, i choose to love him, i came to Christ within the marriage and we do have children.The Lord has taught me much and His grace has been enough, i submit to my husband as unto the Lord, but when it violates His perfect will i refuse.
Yes, it is a huge spritual battle at times. But … after saying this “i am strong in the Lord”… and He does love my husband very much… i am not wrestling against flesh and blood here… and i believe Our God has a purpose and a plan for my husband…
Bless you
Mary
mary you are too funny…I NEVER TRY TO PLEASE MY HUSBAND the way you think. We are in this relationship by choice. Obviously your husband does not love you and share in your relationship. Get out now before it destriys you and him.
Kissing is allowed whilst fasting in ramadhan. u need to do some thorough research into islam. Dont judge islam by how some muslims practise it, judge islam from the holy quran and authentic hadiths. Get a deeper understanding of islam.
And yeah people can change. And people may also not change. There are many people out there that are blind in love and though they see that this person is not their ideal, for example they drink alot or is a flirt and so on yet they think that they will change this person by giving them alot of love, but this is not always the case. U have to be quite careful and not just think with ur heart but also the mind when selecting ur spouse.
This is so funny. I have been married for 19 years to a muslim man. Who really cares about it. we met, we fell in love and eventually married. I have heard so much preaching from muslims about I have to convert…yah right. I choose, no one does that for me. As yet I have not. The thing is don’t bother preaching to me. I know quite a lot of muslim men doing haram.
I work, I don’t wait on him and foot. It takes both of to run our lives, children and finances. I read the other day something funny on a muslim website “don’t marry the women who you have to order to make the tea, marry the woman who wants to make the tea” My thinking is MARRY THE WOMAN WHO YOU WANT TO HELP MAKE THE TEA!
In any marriage both parties have to be committed to each other. Just like when our kids were young, he and I changed just as many diapers. None of this womens work and mens work. I actually laugh at women who say these things to me. “mens work, womens work” hahahahaha. If my husband and I broke up tomorrow I would be very independent. I would not have to go running back to my family for support.
And I’m sorry to say we chose only to have 2 children and yes I used birth control. I know many muslim women who are just having kids after kids and their husbands can’t support them, so they go on social service to use the government to support their families.
so in saying…who really cares and people should stop trying to bud into love.
Too much.
Anne
You totally don’t read what i’m saying Please your husband means he comes before god in your life.. meaning YOU COMPROMISE YOUR FAITH… period.. and HE DOESN’T.. period… and yes that’s your choice to put him before God….. i ask you a question since you like to be so blunt …… would he love so much if you hadn’t married in a mosque?????? INDEED WOULD YOU BE MARRIED AT ALL??????????????????????????? will you ever know. Carry on compromising God is your judge.
End of discussion.
Hi Mary, I found your story so interesting. I’m quite convinced that God has a plan and a purpose for your life and He has a purpose for your husband. You only came to really KNOW Christ personally after your marriage, so God will show you a way through this, to total victory. 1 Peter 3:1-4 comes to mind. Your struggles and challenges are a part of a spiritual battle, but you are not alone in this… the Living God will pave the way. I pray for peace and joy and a special move of God’s breath, His Spirit, in both your lives.
Ann, it’s evident that you’re not living in a predominantly Muslim country, so your husband doesn’t have external pressure and it’s good that you guys have such a relaxed relationship. However, the day will come when you’ll desire a closer relationship with God and then you will be in a unique situation of leading your beloved husband to the truth: that our eternal destiny, salvation and everlasting life is in the balance, not just right living or mere religion or moral laws. However, he seems to be quite a cool guy and I pray you’ll both make that discovery not separately, but together!
Mary
I thank you for your prayer support.. i also thank God that He never leaves us nor forsakes us. The struggles and trials have only served as a caterpult to bring me even closer to Our Lord….. after saying that it’s not always a struggle we have seasons of great peace and joy and through prayer, progress has been made, Everything is in God’s time.
Ohhh don’t worry…my relationship with God is not in jeapardy. Please remember both faiths worship the same God,and there must be a reason for us to be together. Remember…no one can hide from him. and to answer your question…Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 100 percent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, that will be nice. I’m quite sure there’s a reason for the two of you to be together and I pray you will have an awesome time worshiping the Living God together, in spirit and in truth, for ever. As we all long to do, in our own situations. It sounds like you have a nice husband and you love God. It will be ok. Jer 29:11-14. Not just for you, for all of us.
Anne
“so in saying…who really cares and people should stop trying to bud into love”
You do your fair share. Practice what you preach.
hahahahahahahahaha……………………………..
It’s ok, Ann, we know you’re trying to help, and to express your view as well, I’m sorry you met with a hurtful comment.
I think you women need to read the Quran….and don’t accuse me of budding into your life, then don’t post issues on websites….
Ann, we are Christians, that’s why our girls are wrestling with the question. If we wanted to read the Quran, we wouldn’t be having these discussions. In any case, no one wants to hurt you, you are as entitled to give your opinion as anyone here, and we welcome any tips on how you helped work things out in your marriage.
At least I know my husband and where he comes from. I have been back to his country and you know what…his family embraced me for me and not this woman who is so called supposed to convert to Islam. I also keep in touch on a daily basis with a few members of his family, which is more than I can say about my own immediate family. Amazing how the media protrays the muslims and the Arabs. I had no problem with ready the Quran and it made me understand who he is and what his beliefs are.
Just think these if I had listened to what my friends and family said to me before I married him and not done it, I would never have the 2 main lights in my life…my 2 sons. And you know what we all call ourselves Christians…well I married my man who in fact comes from the Holy land.
cont… in reply to Hope.
Anne
In your post of 24th Dec you said “your children have the choice to fast during Ramadan”. yet in your most recent post you call yourselves Christians, does that mean they are being raised Christian? if so why are they given a choice to fast during Ramadan??????
I was implying we as we the wives who are writing on this websites….website is on dating muslim men!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It’s awesome that your children have a choice Ann.
It reminds me of one of my Indian friends who met up with Christ during her marriage. The gradual changes in her must have become clearly evident, and the manner in which she treated her husband were such that he pretended not to notice as she drew closer to the Lord. It’s taken years but the other day, her husband gave her quite a shock! He grumpily complained that it just wasn’t right to bring up their children without religious traditions… she was expecting the worst, when he then said, still pretending to be grumpy: “So we’ll just have to start taking the children to church!” Wow, just shows what a wife’s patient love can achieve, as the Lord works invisibly!
I just wanted to ad that I was …I still am and forever will be in love with my Muslim sweetheart. But I may have got a lemon, as they say. We married on my couch with no one around but my two male dogs. He constantly reminded me that he could go out and get three more wives any time without telling me. I thought I would just enjoy him until he flew off on a magic carpet never to return. I had to end it, however, when he started carrying a knife and continued to remind me that sex with small children was perfectly okay. Yes, right here in Hollywood, California. My handsome Aladdin is a graduate of UCLA. He’s out there looking for a new wife.
Hi “Juliet”,
Welcome here – hope we Christians on the site don’t intimidate you too much. The Christian walk is quite an experience, but some of us tend to talk “Christianese” (I know I do) and please remind me if I become a bit irritating in that way at times (it won’t be intentional).
So… you also have a horrible experience. It’s a good thing you’ve shared this, and a good warning about being careful about guys in general, especially those who are so charming. (And yes, who abuse their charm). It is true that some of the Middle Eastern men are incredibly charming – it’s a fact as their culture is infused with amazing poetry.
I get what you’re saying about that form of marriage – yes, in the religious sense, a sexual connection in a relationship basically does constitute a marriage, as there are soul ties formed, etc.
Despite your tongue-in-cheek style, it’s obvious you really did love that man and were hurt – and in your own way, you’d like to warn other women. Thanks for that.
You’re welcome to hang out with us but please do be aware that a lot of religious people visit the site – and your lighthearted manner could be misinterpreted (especially by some of the devout Muslims that visit the site).
Also, some of us might misunderstand and assume you’re merely trying to promote your website/book. Therefore, your comments won’t be taken…
ok, i need advise pronto, my muslim boyfriend told me that he is devorced two years ago, and he wanst to marry me and i want to marry him but suddenly i receive a call of his wife, there still married and she dosen’t aprrove me… what I’m supposse to do, i dont understand, he told me that there allowed to have 4 wifes but the firts one has to say yes, he devorsed her, left the house and bought a house for us…. now shes harrasing me every single day… i told him that i wanted to stop this relationship and he dosen’t whant to to finish it…
i dont know what to do.././
Oh Emily Elizabeth!
Sweetie, you know what to do! You are in great danger. Your future and your eternity is in great danger. This man’s eternal life is in great danger.
You know what the right thing to do is. You want us to spell it out for you.
Here are the facts: Soon you might find yourself as wife number three or four, pregnant and alone, isolated from Jesus and all the good things the Lord had planned for you.
You have a soft heart and you’re not strong enough to break free. But RUN to the Lord Jesus! John 8:36 says “If the Son (Jesus) therefore shall make you free, you shall be free indeed.”
Think of yourself in 20, or 30 years’ time. Where will you be? Alone looking after fatherless children while your man is with the latest wife? Think of your future.
This man might not love you at all – it might simply be an obsession. If this is so, the flame will soon die within him and you will be faced with the consequences.
Run to Jesus now!
Thank you! I’m running out of this relationship, tomorrow is late for me, and i know that i could do better, i feel sorry for this first wife, they have 3 children. and he dosen’t care too much he wants to have more and i wont be his ginny pig; thats a big no cant do.
we have to read, open are eyes and close out heart and feelings somethings because when he charm is over, everithing will be. am closing up for a while.
Thank you!
Satan has used the word “love” in ancient times and now in modern times to deceive God’s people. If we read the bible then we come to know that the destruction israel was that the israelis married men and women from religions who led them to idol worship, child sacrifices etc. Even the great king Solomon whom God even describe as the most wisdom person in the word was deceived by his wifes who were from other religion then what to say about us. In inter-religious marriages couples who follow two religions and who are secular sometimes would’nt have obstracles but their children later may become confuse which religion should they follow and it would be difficult for them in their latter lives and the christian women who marry men from islam in most cases end up losing their christian identity and their children following islam
Actually in Christianity dating even with christian men and women is a sin because it is your own decision to love and marry that person which may not be God’s will. God had decided whom we should marry, where should we go etc even before we were formed in our mother’s womb. So going against the will of God is also a sin. When a couple marries by dating then they are not only spoiling their lives but also the lives of other two persons whom God had decided for them. I am an Indian christian and i wasn’t too religious but my life was…
Sorry my earlier comment wasn’t complete. I am an Indian christian and i wasn’t too religious but my life was transformed when i attended a church camp and now am a devout christian.
Guys, respectfully but speaking in God’s terms, you are dissobeying
God, no matter the consequences of a human committment or marriage (if there is or not), the Lord says not to mix the faithful (in the Bible and Our God) with others. The main reasons of rejecting these type of relationships, just as the jewish commandments rejected men or women for joining other tribes relationships, was to avoid their worshiping other pagan gods. We know that other than the personal consequences are worst not only for the woman, but for the kids, as I’ve known many cases, in which it is not true that the purposes of sharing faith with the unbeliever will result positively, for we are uncertain of these fruits. So I’m with some of you who say that the lady is in a sinful condition and addopting the wrong decisions. Things have to be said with the Bible words, not with others words which give another appearence to change the sinful escence.
I know you’re not a professional journalist, or reporter because a real professional wouldn’t allow themselves to slip in inaccuracies to make a better story. I’m not going to argue whether one religion is right versus the other, I’m going to try and ask you to hold yourself accountable for the article you’ve just written.
First and foremost, your second point is not based on Islam but rather based on culture. Even in Christianity, the sense of self shouldn’t outweigh the betterment of a group; Christians wouldn’t allow slavery of an entire people just because it benefits a small percentage. In the Qur’an, it states that there is no compulsion in religion (Sûrah al-Baqarah: 256), so if one felt compelled to do something it’s not anyone else’s doing but his or her own.
My next point: notice the use of valid quotations. That’s right, citation of a source rather than blindly writing anything that would be believed by someone who might not know better and trusts you as a valid educational article. You said that, “In Islam, it is okay for a man to marry a Christian woman because it is expected that he will convert her”; no, that’s not the reasoning at all for that rule. The rule that men can marry from the People of the Book (Christians, Jews and Muslims) is that he believes in all the Prophets, and therefore wouldn’t stop a woman from teaching her children…
I have experience of having relationship with 3 arab men. I am from Asia. And I can say i was trapped with their sweet words. None of them give me an end. They left our relationship hanging.
I for one am a Muslim woman born and raised. I don’t see anything wrong about how Muslim men carry themselves and their family. Now there are those who are extreme and use the Quran to justify their extreme actions. I think Christians have to consider that their beliefs are not as structured as ours. Its a good thing that Muslim Men put their family first and obey the word of Allah. Maybe Christians should learn of the religion b4 considering marrying a Muslim brother. I think even if he wasn’t religious at first he might have thought about building as strong family with you. I’m looking for that quality in a Muslim man that leadership, strong family man, and the wanting to obey Allah. I hope you haven’t gave up on him bc u can teach your kids that being a Muslim and being themselves are not bad. Please understand Islam and know that not all Muslim men are the same. My parents worked together for 30 plus years and raised us to be very successful people. And to be honest the Quran says that woman should be treated one degree less then men and one degree is a very small potion God Bless
I am a Christian woman who was married to a Muslim man. Yes, he had sweet words in the beginning. He finally left me and our son without his financial or spirtual support. His friends don’t believe he would do such a thing. Well, he did. Returned home without divorcing me and married a Muslim woman. Many years later he divorced me while living in another state…what a man. He has no father son relationship with our son.
I’m dating a muslim and its great… he’s everything i hoped for… yes the culture is different from ours but we shouldn’t hate it… its just how it is… were willing to compermise things and willing to learn about each of our cultures… not all muslim men are like that… I’m not agreeing with anyone or anypart… I’m just saying what i have exsperienced so far…
Christian women have to know that a Muslim man will put ALLAH b4 anyone n guide his family to Allah. U have to know your husband’s beliefs b4 marry even if he not religious.
Hello, I am not Christian but I am dating a muslim man. I really want to know what it is like and what I should expect in the future IF i do decide to start a family or marry him.
Just Discuss Religion with him , and Criticize Islam a Bit..
If he takes criticism in a good way , then he is a good man.
[editied, Admin]
I agree with chit chat, I dated a muslim man, he seemed so charming, and kind, and within 18 months we were married. He hit me on our wedding night, I took him back, but he was soon mean and critical, then caused an argument over nothing and yelled and swore at me to get out. He has refused to give me any explanation and has not talked to me since.
I’m a Muslim girl. I can tell you that I know so many non-Muslim women who have been beaten, abused, assaulted and otherwise demeaned by their Christian husbands and boyfriends.
I was once in love with a Christian man. I would not be sexually intimate with him because I believe in sex after marriage. He was ok with that at first, but really could not handle it. He ended up with a Christian girl, began sleeping with her right away. I loved him from the bottom of my heart, but the lack o intercourse, and my refusal to eat any type of pork product, was too much for him — premarital sex and pigs were quite important to his Christian lifestyle, and he wanted a woman who embraced both. I guess Christians and Muslims really do have different values.
I thought it is said “No, Muslim man should lay a hand on his wife” … I wonder where did he get that kind of behavior.
What says “no muslim man should lay a hand on his wife?” Is it in the Quran? I read somewhere that in the Quran it says to punish your wife, but then I didn’t do anything wrong.
The Quran actually says to beat your wife if she does bad behaviour, read Chapter4 verse 34 of the Quran.
Capter 4 of what book in the Quran?
Quran is One book , divided into 114 chapters or “suras(arabic language)”
Its in the 4th Chapter , An-Nisā.(in the 34th verse) u can go to “quran.com” and read it by typing 4:34 .
You are quite right Roshan it does say that, wow I wish I had known that a few years ago!
Hello All, great to see all the dialogue going on, it’s definitely the path to a happier coexistance.
Here are some rules from our ancient text (Quran) peppered with some Hadith (ways and teachings of the prophet Muhummad PBUH):
- The best Muslim men are those that are kind to their wives and mothers.
- A man may not have sex with his wife if she is on her period, though they should still share a bed and be affectionate, or while fasting.
- A man or woman may convert to Islam if that is truly what is in their heart, not for the purpose of marriage.
- Men should never under any circumstance harm their wives or children. If through reason, counsel, abstinence from sex, a mans wife is still disobedient he may only symbolically remind her that he has rights over her with a tap on the arm/leg/hand with a toothpick.
As far as I have read, and i’m no scholar, the Quran is the only book that reiterates and specifies the rights of women and the grave responsibilities of men.
…Having said that, Muslims, just like anyone else, are human beings and are by definition, imperfect. They may make mistakes, but the mistreatment of some of the posters above is not a result of the teaching of Islam. (Edited for brevity)
New Reader , you have posted some things about Islam, but you have left out all of the bad things, what about those bad things,eh? don’t we deserve to hear about them? I urge everyone to pray to god, do not be afraid, if anyone is in doubt ask . in short, The answer i got was god loves you and jesus loves you. What answer did you get?
I just divorced my Iraqi Muslim husband of 5.5 years. We have a 4.5-year old son. I’m devastated and sad, which are normal, grieving feelings after a divorce. BUT: I AM FREE. Unfortunately, many of the negative things people say about non-Muslim, Western women marrying Muslim, Arab men are true. I met him in Baghdad, and asked him to marry me. He said he only would, on the condition that I would convert to Islam. Not thinking this was a big deal, I agreed. Stupid mistake on both of our parts. After marriage, I stopped Islam, as I learned things I disagreed with. Our marriage started falling apart at that point. My sweet, nice, kind, funny, good-looking husband became abusive, narcissistic, self-centered, and controlling. He threatened to divorce me if I drank alcohol or ate pork. He threatened to cut my tongue when I cursed. He called me a slut when I wore a short summer skirt on a hot day. He told me what to wear, what to say, how to act, what to eat and drink. After several years of this crap, I asked him to leave. I lost myself in this ridiculous relationship, and got tired of being a doormat-and, I was financially supporting him!! This was the thanks I got from him. He got physical several times, too. Now, we’ve been separated for 1.5 years, and divorced for 6 months. I see him for what he really is: a self-centered, controlling, manipulative man who puts his religion and culture way above his marriage, and doesn’t care if he contributes greatly to reducing the self-esteem of his own wife. He is incapable of true love; he doesn’t know what it is. Our son will now be confused about learning Christianity from me, and Islam from him. But at least he won’t witness his father verbally, psychologically, spiritually, and mentally abusing his mother anymore. I’m stronger now, and can recognize a controlling man a mile away! If men are like this, I’d rather stay single. Believe me. I”m also now a very strong, confident woman. I don’t need a man criticizing me! Marrying a Muslim, Arab man isn’t worth the pain and torture. And we lived in the US the entire time!! It didn’t matter…he just surrounded himself with Iraqi friends. Please, ladies, unless you grow up as a Muslim, don’t marry one. Just don’t. I thought I knew what I was doing…now I’m 47, divorced, with a 4-year-old and shared custody. It’s horrible. But I’m doing my best to move on with my “new normal” life. It’s less stressful, that’s for sure.
Most people will look for long term relationships when it comes to
dating. In the beginning stages of dating,
you’re still getting to know someone you know very little about. This sequence corresponds to the number associated with the check fund amount.